Today is boring and I really need to go ahead and start drinking so, here are some of the chicks who “sizzled up the gold carpet” at Us Magazine’s Hot Hollywood Party last night. Obviously, the word “hot” is not really happy about all this:
Jennifer Lopez also won the prestigious Style Icon of The Year Award. It’s so prestigious, I’ve never heard of it. I’m not sure what it takes to win, but I assume it involves jeans with the ass stretched out and looking like a male Jennifer Lopez impersonator.
Paris Hilton just needs to go ahead and get an eye patch and a parrot, and get it over with. That eye is basically closed. She looks depressed, so maybe her right eye is some sort of mood eye. If it’s open, that means she’s alive. And that doesn’t put me in a good mood.
Seriously, is there any doubt that Ashlee Simpson is the hot sister now? Granted, Ashlee’s still kinda fug, but at least she has an actual woman’s face. Jessica Simpson looks like Bill Cowher with a blonde wig and collagen injections.
The freckled whore in curls:
Carmen Electra is pretty much the only exception to this list. She’s still getting it done after all these years, and she doesn’t mind getting naked. And if you’re a hot chick with big boobs, it says somewhere in the Constitution that you’re legally obligated. Sorry, ladies!
jennifer-lopez-us-hot-hollywood
Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
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Treasure Island 2013: Sleigh Bells
October 20, 2013; Photo by Johnny Firecloud
Week 8 Who's Up-Down
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Andrew Luck QB – Indianapolis
We all know that Luck is an incredibly talented quarterback, but over the first 23 games of his career, Reggie Wayne has been his security blanket. The Colts’ star receiver has accounted for 30 percent of the yards Luck has thrown for and just over 20 percent of the quarterback’s touchdowns.
Now, with Wayne out for the season, Luck will have to hope that T.Y. Hilton and Darrius Heyward-Bey can pick up the slack, especially in the red zone. Hilton only caught two of the 11 passes that were thrown his way against Denver and Heyward-Bey has caught less than 50 percent of his targets this season, so that is a dicey proposition to say the least. Despite all the hype, Luck hasn’t thrown for 300 yards yet this season, so his stats aren’t that great to begin with and he faces the league’s best pass defense (Houston) in his next game. I would begin looking for a replacement now if Luck were my quarterback.
Arrow Pointing: DOWN
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Jamaal Charles RB – Kansas City
Charles’ contribution to the Chiefs’ 7-0 start has been somewhat lost amidst the adulation for Andy Reid and Alex Smith, but make no mistake, Charles has been Kansas City’s offensive star this season. The former Texas star has at least one touchdown in every game this season and is getting consistent touches both on the ground and in the passing game.
The running back’s pass-catching ability out of the backfield has helped him go over 100 total yards in every game this season, with a high of 172 in Week 3. He currently ranks third in the NFL in rushing yards (561) and second in touchdowns (8), so he is clearly one of the elite running backs in the league and his remarkable consistency (at least 65 rushing yards and 23 receiving yards in every game) makes it likely he will be for the duration of the season. Trade for him if you can and let him carry you higher in the standings.
Arrow Pointing: UP
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Matt Forte RB – Chicago
The Bears running back will likely be one of the team's several offensive weapons that will see some drop in production with Jay Cutler out of the lineup for the next six weeks (that includes Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery). Forte faces the biggest statistical dip, however, because Chicago faces the Packers’ third-ranked rush defense and the Lions’ fearsome defensive line, featuring Ndamukong Suh, in their next two games (the Bears have a bye this week).
The bottom line for Forte is that he will have a tough time running against two solid rush defenses without a quarterback who can take the pressure off him. The former Vanderbilt star went through the same situation last season when Cutler got hurt. The running back averaged more than 4 yards per carry in each of the first seven games Cutler played in and dropped to just 2.7 ypc in games in the matchups Cutler missed.
Josh McCown has replaced Jason Campbell as the Bears’ backup quarterback since last season, but don’t get too excited about McCown’s 200-yard performance against the struggling Washington defense on Sunday. His career line features 38 TDs and 44 INTs. Without a quality quarterback to help him out, I would trade Forte now if you can -- and yes this a complete reverse jinx in the hopes he torches the Packers to spite me.
Arrow Pointing: DOWN
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Nate Washington WR – Tennessee
I’m cheating a little bit here because Washington is on a bye in Week 8, but he’s a player you might want to pick up and save for after the bye week because he might not be around if you wait. The Ohio native finds himself in a situation opposite of Forte’s; he got his quarterback back this week and will likely see his numbers rise in the coming weeks. Washington had two 100-yard performances (along with two touchdowns) in first four games, when Jake Locker was under center for the Titans.
After that hot start, Washington failed to find the end zone in the next two weeks and posted just 45 yards total, partly because Locker got hurt and the Titans had to make Ryan Fitzpatrick their signal-caller. In Week 7, Locker returned and targeted Washington 10 times. Although Washington caught only three of the passes, he still racked up 62 yards and he seems poised to turn his season around after a couple of rough weeks. He’s only owned in 45 percent of leagues so pick him up if you can afford to wait two weeks for the reward.
Arrow Pointing: UP
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Robert Griffin III QB - Washington
Griffin III struggled with interceptions early in the year, throwing four in his first three games, but has cleaned up that aspect of his game, throwing just two picks in the last three contests. Similarly, the reigning NFC offensive rookie of the year saw his rushing numbers drop significantly in the early going this season from his breakout season a year ago. In his first four weeks, he carried the ball just 18 times for a total of 72 yards, but in his two most recent games, he has 20 carries for 161 yards.
In his first season in the league, Griffin was valuable because he could roll up stats through the air and on the ground. That element had been missing early in this season, but has seemingly returned lately as the Redskins realized they needed RGIII’s running ability to be effective on offense.
Griffin will likely become more and more of a fantasy threat as the season goes on and he continues to get healthier following his well-documented knee surgery (remember Adrian Peterson didn’t get going until around Week 7 last season). He also has a series of games against struggling defenses coming up, facing the Broncos, Chargers, Vikings and Eagles in the next four weeks. Expect some big games for the second-year sensation in the coming weeks.
Arrow Pointing: UP
