Ok, let’s get this out of the way early. I watched Sharknado 3 last night. Don’t say a damn word. Anyway, two things: Tara Reid gave birth inside a shark. Anne Coulter was in it and nobody “accidentally” killed her when the sharknado happened. Other two things: Cassie Scerbo’s boobs. They were out the whole movie. It was frustrating. I couldn’t even follow the plausible science of two shark tornadoes merging to form one giant shark tornado because sharks have the ability to live in clouds. The movie was longer than it should have been, because the brave men and women who could have stopped it were sitting in lawn chairs outside military recruitment centers (not black churches) where I’m sure they’ll have better success in surviving a drive by than trained Marines. If not, I have full confidence that their children will not let their parents’ vinyl siding/lawn mower repair business fail. Also, Cassie Scerbo’s boobs. Look at them. It’s why we’ve all gathered here this morning.
Cassie Scerbo
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Cassie Scerbo
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 04: Cassie Scerbo arrives at Sunset Entertainment Group hosts Grand Opening of outdoor lounge Le Jardin at Le Jardin on June 4, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Paul Redmond/WireImage)
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Cassie Scerbo
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 18: Cassie Scerbo attends the Just Jared's Summer Bash Pool Party 2015 on July 18, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)
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Cassie Scerbo
SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 11: Cassie Scerbo arrives at the Entertainment Weekly celebration at Float at Hard Rock Hotel San Diego on July 11, 2015 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Araya Diaz/Getty Images)
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Peoples Choice Awards 2014 Arrivals held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live, 777 Chick Hearn Ct., Los Angeles, CA.Featuring: Cassie ScerboWhere: Los Angeles, California, United StatesWhen: 08 Jan 2014Credit: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com
Peoples Choice Awards 2014 Arrivals held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live, 777 Chick Hearn Ct., Los Angeles, CA.
Featuring: Cassie Scerbo
Where: Los Angeles, California, United States
When: 08 Jan 2014
Credit: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com -
Cassie Scerbo
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 04: Actress Cassie Scerbo attends the Grand Opening Party of the Le Jardin Outdoor Lounge at Le Jardin on June 4, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/Getty Images)
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Cassie Scerbo
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 08: Actress Cassie Scerbo attends The 40th Annual People's Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on January 8, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
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Cassie Scerbo
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 04: Actress Cassie Scerbo attends the Grand Opening Party of the Le Jardin Outdoor Lounge at Le Jardin on June 4, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/Getty Images)
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Cassie Scerbo
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 08: Cassie Scerbo arrives at the 40th Annual People's Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on January 8, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jerod Harris/Getty Images)
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Cassie Scerbo
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 08: Actress Cassie Scerbo arrives at the 40th Annual People's Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre LA Live on January 8, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Gregg DeGuire/WireImage)
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Cassie Scerbo
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 08: Actress Cassie Scerbo arrives during The 40th Annual People's Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on January 8, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by C Flanigan/FilmMagic)
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Cassie Scerbo
SANTA MONICA, CA - APRIL 15: Cassie Scerbo attends the Kiehl's 2015 Earth Day Project With Elizabeth Olsen And Maggie Q at Kiehls Since 1851 Santa Monica Store on April 15, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)
