Kate Upton Is Painfully Stupid

Let me start this with Kate Upton didn’t graduate high school. But when she was in a high school, it was a private academy that costs $14K a year in an 80% white town in Florida. She also competed in equestrian events with her horses Roanie Pony and Zipper. Then she posed for pictures in a bikini for a few years then got engaged to a millionaire. So that right there tells you that when it comes to race relations in America, Kate Upton has a wealth of knowledge and insight to speak on behalf everyone in a country that was “discovered” by way of genocide and built on the backs of slaves. So let’s take a moment to sit and hear her nuanced argument on how minorities should behave. Take it away, Kate!

 

In my opinion, the national anthem is a symbolic song about our country. It represents honoring the many brave men and women who sacrifice and have sacrificed their lives each and every single day to protect our freedom. Sitting or kneeling down during the national anthem is a disgrace to those people who have served and currently serve our country. Sitting down during the national anthem on September 11th is even more horrific. Protest all you want and use social media all you want. However, during the nearly two minutes when that song is playing, I believe everyone should put their hands on their heart and be proud of our country for we are all truly blessed. Recent history has shown that it is a place where anyone no matter what race or gender has the potential to become President of the United States. We live in the most special place in the world and should be thankful. After the song is over, I would encourage everyone to please use the podium they have, stand up for their beliefs, and make America a better place. The rebuilding of battery park and the freedom tower demonstrates that amazing things can be done in this country when we work together towards a common goal. It is a shame how quickly we have forgotten this as a society. Today we are more divided then ever before. I could never imagine multiple people sitting down during the national anthem on the September 11th anniversary. The lessons of 911 should teach us that if we come together, the world can be a better and more peaceful place #neverforget.

A photo posted by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on Sep 11, 2016 at 4:12pm PDT

Let’s break this down, shall we? Yes. Let’s.

In my opinion, the national anthem is a symbolic song about our country. It represents honoring the many brave men and women who sacrifice and have sacrificed their lives each and every single day to protect our freedom. Sitting or kneeling down during the national anthem is a disgrace to those people who have served and currently serve our country.

Kudos to starting it with, “In my opinion”. Some semblance of self-awareness is always welcomed. However, the national anthem doesn’t represent the military, it’s supposed to represent everyone. And even if it were to represent the brave men and women who “protect our freedom”, part of that freedom is being able to sit and kneel during the national anthem.  As we mentioned, I know you didn’t graduate high school, so if you don’t understand what actual freedom is then I can’t really help you. Maybe Google it. To help you out, according to 36 U.S. Code § 301, standing during the national anthem is just a suggestion. Like in 2010 when people suggested you were a model. People just ran with it, and pretty soon some people accepted it as fact. I hope that analogy makes sense. Basically, if you’re more concerned about respecting a symbol of freedom than respecting the freedoms of your fellow Americans, then you’re part of the problem. Sorry you had to hear it this way. 

Sitting down during the national anthem on September 11th is even more horrific.

Why? Because it was the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil? 100M dead indigenous people would like a word. Oh, my bad. You meant real Americans, not the ones who died so you could make cardboard turkeys at the school where you dropped out. You mean the 2,996 in the Twin Towers. It’s always sad and horrific when innocent people lose their lives over idealogical differences, so I hope the victims of 9/11 can rest better knowing that they were avenged 100,000 times over and that the guy responsible got double tapped in the brain and is currently fish shit. Or maybe they won’t rest after they hear about the countless other innocent men, women, and children who had to die, the other countries that were invaded, and the new and improved terrorist organization that rose to power because America got punched in the mouth and has been shitting drone strikes in fear for the last 15 years. If you want to always remember 9/11, that’s your right as an American. There’s things minorities will always remember, too. Sorry you had to hear it this way. 

Protest all you want and use social media all you want. However, during the nearly two minutes when that song is playing, I believe everyone should put their hands on their heart and be proud of our country for we are all truly blessed.

So you believe in freedom of speech, just not yesterday. Got it. And is there a specific reason why anyone would be “proud” of our country? We’re all here because our moms happened to push us out here. That’s it. Nationalism disguised as “pride” doesn’t usually turn out too well. I hate to bring the high school thing up again, but you would have learned that in history. (Hint: they didn’t rewrite those examples). And, no, we are all not truly blessed. You are. Take off those They Live glasses. Sorry you had to hear it this way. 

Recent history has shown that it is a place where anyone no matter what race or gender has the potential to become President of the United States.

Ah, yes. Racism is over because we have a black President. The same black President who, over the last 8 years, has been repeatedly called a nigger, a monkey, a Muslim, and a traitor. The same black President who people believe never attended Columbia and Harvard Law School, because this is America. How could a black man get accepted there? The same black President who had to actually release his fucking birth certificate because if he was black and successful, he must have been born in another country. I know what you’re saying, you’re white and you nor your parents nor grandparents had anything to do with slavery. That’s true. But what did they have to do with Jim Crow? Sharecropping? Segregation? Were they cool with MLK or did they call him a “race baiter”? Did they fight for Civil Rights for all or did they just not like uppity niggers? Because here’s the thing: Racism in America is everyone’s problem. And until everyone decides to fix it, it isn’t going away. Cancer doesn’t go away if you just don’t talk about it. And you can’t get reverse cancer if somebody informs you that you’re not seeing their cancer for what it truly is. And they aren’t pulling out the cancer card when they do. Sorry you had to hear it this way. 

We live in the most special place in the world and should be thankful. After the song is over, I would encourage everyone to please use the podium they have, stand up for their beliefs, and make America a better place.

“We live in the most special place in the world”? Do we? I guess that depends on who you ask. I’m sorry minorities aren’t docile and smiling anymore, and that might lock you in a glass case of white fragility emotion, but turns out they are using their podium to stand up for their beliefs by sitting down. It’s the only reason we’re having this discussion in the first place. You’re being forced to acknowledge it, because otherwise you wouldn’t care. And if you truly love something and wish to make it better, you must first learn to criticize it. You’ve done a great job of criticizing their method of protest, now use that passion, pride, and love for the most “special place in the world” to criticize the institutions that are the targets for said protest. I mean, that is if you really want make America a better place. You may have just typed this on Instagram and thought that would be it. I don’t know. 

The rebuilding of battery park and the freedom tower demonstrates that amazing things can be done in this country when we work together towards a common goal.  It is a shame how quickly we have forgotten this as a society. Today we are more divided then ever before. I could never imagine multiple people sitting down during the national anthem on the September 11th anniversary. The lessons of 911 should teach us that if we come together, the world can be a better and more peaceful place.

“We are more divided then ever before”. I know. Things were going so well at the private academy and frolicking in the meadow with Roanie Pony until people started demanding equal rights and protections that you’ve taken for granted your whole life. Ugh. Everything was fine. And I realize you were 9 at the time, so let me clear this up for you, but the “lessons of 9/11” lasted until about 10/11. Then it was back to America as usual. I don’t know what boss level of cognitive dissonance it must take to think the world, specifically America, is better and more peaceful place after 9/11, so I’ll just skip that. But I do want to apologize for the fact that you couldn’t give us all smallpox, or lynch and sterilize your way out of having to deal with this. And I know you think building a wall will keep your other problems out, but we’re here and we’re not going anywhere. So the sooner you come to to terms with that, and truly wish to come together, the world can be a better and more peaceful place as you so eloquently stated. I mean this so much that I won’t even include a gallery of your tits. That’s how committed I am here, Kate.