The Kim Kardashian robbery has been a news cycle manna from heaven for the Kris Jenner Kollection Plate this past week, from a possible leaked sex tape, accusations it was an “inside job”, claims from her ex-bodyguard (who was fired by Kanye for “flirting”) that the robbery was karma, to Kris Jenner putting a psychic on the case (even though she cut security days before the robbery). And probably other stuff I’m forgetting. But apparently the Jenner/Kardashian/West brain(?)trust had an emergency meeting over the weekend and the best they could come up with was getting Kim Kardashian a body double.
…Kardashian clan continues to beef up security, they are bringing out a new secret weapon to protect Kim: a body double. A source tells us, “There’s a circus that follows Kim’s every move. Her new security team is recommending she employ a body double to help confuse would-be assailants.”
That should work. Instead of Kim Kardashian getting robbed and possibly raped, they can just hire somebody else to go through all that. Brilliant. A Kim Kardashian body double. Kylie Jenner has been preparing for this role her whole life. Kris might not want to sacrifice future earnings, so Kylie is probably a no go. I would suggest Harambe, but Hillary Clinton had him killed because Ohio is a swing state.
Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #1
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #2
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #3
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #4
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #5
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #6
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #7
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #8
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #9
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #10
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #11
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #12
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #13
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #14
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #15
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: Kim Kardashian West arrives at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #16
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: Kim Kardashian West arrives at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #17
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #18
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #19
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #20
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #21
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: Kim Kardashian West arrives at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #22
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: Kim Kardashian West arrives at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #23
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #24
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #25
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #26
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West are seen leaving the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #27
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
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Kim Kardashian Robbed Paris #28
PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian arrive at the 'Alaia' showroom on October 2, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
