We probably don’t need to present a case on why riding a bicycle is better for you than hopping in a four-wheel smog-emitter, but in the event you’re still driving a gas guzzler when you needn’t, here are a few reminders of the many pros bike rides can bring that may have slipped under your carbon footprint.
Eco and Emo-Friendly
While bicycles have made something of a comeback with the influx of gas prices, Americans still consume close to 140 billion gallons of gasoline each year with their automobiles. So aside from the many perks of being an avid cyclist, you’re also doing your part as a member of this fine Earth by not adding to that number and contributing to its destruction.
If your commute to work is “too far” for the joys of pedaling, pack your bike in your car and drive part of the way and bike the rest. If you’re worried about important business meetings being thrown by your style-by-wind hairdo, just bring a comb, numbnuts. Or you could always tell everybody at the office you’ve gone emo, meaning you bought a fixie, which will excuse any shoddy hair days as long as your pants are skintight.
Soul Soothing
There’s plenty we take for granted in our daily lives. Something as simple as a couple skinny tires and a few steel bars taking you places and getting your friends together to help you live a healthier life shouldn’t be one of them. Plenty of things in this world are free – or at least inexpensive – and offer quality to your life, but very few offer as many benefits as a bicycle.
With several billion people all convinced they need to get to work taking the same routes and buying up gasoline like it’s going out of style (which it is), it couldn’t hurt to try some alternatives that give you a genuine appreciation for the ground you ride on, the people who create these beautiful contraptions and the working legs you have that pedal that son of a bitch like the wind down whatever road you may travel.
End to Road Rage
Ever notice how you become a different person when you get behind the wheel of a car, like a homicidal maniac screaming things at people you wouldn’t even say to your dog after she wipes your plate clean while you are trying to post photos of your meal? With biking, you’ll actually notice your spirit being lifted and happiness entering, as opposed to spilling coffee all over yourself and punching the steering wheel until the airbag goes off in your face. Instead of inhaling burning chemicals deployed from your temper tantrum, why not share in the good Lord’s brew and arrive at your destination
calmly? It might take a few extra minutes, but it gives you time to wake up with fresh air and appreciate the fact your legs still work, however creaky they might be.
Badass Biker
Most people who don’t own a bicycle due to one main reason: the cost. Instead of buying something brand new, recycle a ‘cycle and purchase a used one. Or be truly cool and find an old bike that needs some work. There are shops in every town that will help you get the parts you need cheap and maybe even show you how to pull it apart and put it back together.
For most of us who need a hobby, this is a great one that won’t take up that much of your time. It’s like a badass who’s always fixing his bike, except yours will squeal until you tighten the brakes and that horn sounds like something a five-year-old girl would have on her ride, the one with glitter and pink tassels hanging off the handlebars.
New Style Exercise
Although it may seem like a no-brainer, having a bicycle is truly a good workout, mostly because it’s fun and most people don’t associate fun with working out. Instead of using the treadmill in your basement and staring at a wall or watching worthless cable television, take the wheels out for a spin. Unless it’s winter and you’re not a big fan of pedaling on ice, you should get outside and enjoy the fresh air while you’re relatively young.
Not only will it give you a good workout, but now they have new types of treadmill bikes that involve standing up the entire time, giving your legs a serious burn and taking away the seat you so love. You have no excuse when you’re enjoying the great outdoors and getting a workout all at once. Plus, the treadmill you probably have and don’t use just takes up space that could be used for other reckless behavior.
First Date Material
No guy is going to get much accomplished taking a lady out to a loud movie where your words do nothing but detract from the storyline and drive her to the bathroom to fake pee. A little cruise on the bicycles is a pretty genuine expression of interest and good times, something that can be completely innocent a
nd fun while riding to dinner or around town get ice cream. It can also be the vehicle of madness if you two feel like getting liquored up and burning down the town.
Whatever the occasion, a bicycle is usually the way to get there, and women appreciate nothing more than good, quality time enjoying fresh air while you pass beers back and forth like two kids passing notes in class. Just don’t get caught and blame us for being Mr. Drunk and Ms. Disorderly.
Sunday Drunk-Day
There’s no good reason for piling into a car and driving to a bar to get belligerent with your buddies when you can do that close to home. Here’s a little tip: It doesn’t matter where you go out with your friends – you’re going to have a good time, no matter what. So stay safe and close to home … and never get in a car after drinking.
Although we don’t promote drunk riding either, it’s a hell of a lot better than sticking the D.D. position on one of your friends who will drag the crowd down with their I’ve-got-to-get-up-early routine when you could all have a ball and enjoy the sobering ride home together. Don’t be sticks in the mud and insist on automobiles when you know there’s a better way to journey through the night together, no matter how scraped up your knees are by the end.
