Woman Stabs Husband With Ceramic Squirrel For Not Bringing Home Beer

Here’s a sign that it might be time for an intervention:

We teased you with this story in our funny photos a few days ago, but here’s the full scoop. A 44-year-old South Carolina woman was charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature after beating and stabbing her husband with a ceramic squirrel on…wait for it…Christmas.

Her reason?

He went to make a beer run but returned empty-handed because the store was closed.

As her husband walked to the kitchen to make a sandwich, that’s when police say Helen Ann Williams lost her shit and broke a ceramic squirrel over his head and stabbed him with what remained. Thankfully, he was still able to run to a neighbor’s house to call 911.

Officers arrived on the scene at 12:20am and found Williams’ 41-year-old hubby covered in blood due to a deep cut across his chest as well as facial lacerations. When asked what happened, Williams gave the old “he fell and cut himself” routine and told officers the blood on her clothes and hands had “been there.”

On a positive note, at least this guy knows what to get Williams for Christmas next year.

(via Fox Carolina)

Related: The Greatest Mug Shots of All Time

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