If you’re feeling constantly parched and have unusually dry skin, it might be because the western part of the U.S. is experiencing not only one of its hottest summers in years, but one of it
s biggest droughts in decades. As with every big problem, though, there’s a laundry list of ways to do your small part to help. Educate yourself, do what you can to spread the word and don’t be a water-wasting jerk. Here are 13 ways to make that happen.
If it’s yellow, let it mellow, fellow.
Unless you’re dabbling in heavy doses of asparagus and (other pungent foods), the stench of your hottest piss isn’t enough to flush five gallons of water down the drain. Let that yellowy discharge mellow and have the guy who’s stinking up the bathroom be the one to pull the trigger as he gets your pee all over his ass. This is all unsavory, but the other option might be a low-flow toilet.
Only have the water on when you need it.
Whether you’re brushing teeth, shaving your mustache (you too, ladies) or washing off the veggies before cooking, there’s no need to leave the water running constantly. A dripping faucet wastes nearly 3,000 gallons of water each year, so imagine what your little water sport is running you. Shift your habits a bit and defrost your food overnight, use the same bowl of water to clean your food and then use that water for houseplants. You don’t have to give up shaving and brushing your teeth, but those aren’t water-heavy activities to begin with, so stop failing the environment.
Go “Little House on a Prairie” with your dishwasher and laundry.
OK, you don’t have to go all “Little House on the Prairie,” but hand-washing your dishes not only saves 14 gallons of water, it’s therapeutic for you too. People with dishwashers get wasteful and overuse dishes, but temporarily going back to a hand wash might ground your extensive utensil-abusing habits.
For laundry, you don’t have to hand wash, but only do full loads. Cut down when you can and don’t wash things unless they’re dirty. And yes, you can live dangerously and mix your whites and colors together if you wash them all as colors with cold water.
Recycle your water at home; never pour it out.
When most folks start the shower or bath, they waste a few gallons while they wait for hot water. Take that time to place a bucket or pan under your faucet and use that colder water for houseplants, dog water and cleaning. It might seem extreme, but the idea is to keep the problem from becoming extreme, to the point where we’re stealing water from our neighbors while they sleep and holding convenient stores hostage for six-packs of Aquafina.
Shower only on certain days (and with somebody).
Did somebody say Shower Night?! It’s time we all buddy up in the showers and save water together, totally naked. Take shorter showers – usually no more than five minutes – and water your hair less frequently, as in every other day at most, to cut down the time. It’s a great excuse to ask your cute neighbor to get naked without any previous dating between you, plus nobody cares what you look like anyway. Some neighborhoods have shower schedules that encourage that type of water usage on certain days based on where you live (even numbered houses shower Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, for example). And if you’re worried about the whole homeless-looking caveman grunge look, it’s all good; it should be getting recycled back into fashion any day now, and you could beat everyone to it and start the latest trend!
Wash your car at a car wash.
Thats’ what they’re for, kiddies. You might think that washing the car in the driveway is the eco-friendly move, but that water runs off into the street and down the gutter, whereas most car washes recycle their water. If you’re anti-establishment, though, pull your car up on the lawn and at least water the yard while you clean your hot rod. Then you can be an eco-friendly rebel.
Don’t water your lawn more than once a week, Flanders.
Typically, lawns only need watering every five to seven days in the summer. Since we’re in a drought, those numbers might be smaller, but if you can conserve water to times only when your lawn really needs it, that does wonders. Just because you water on certain days doesn’t mean you have to. Pay attention to your yard, talk to it, say supportive nurturing things to it and give it just what it needs and nothing more. Play hard to get as well. They like that.
Change your pool filter and use a cover.
A dip in the swimming pool might be the cool-down cure for this drought, so if your pool is in heavy use, be responsible enough to use a cover to conserve the water by keeping it from evaporating and clean so you don’t have to change it. If you have the money for a pool, you have the money for a good water-saving filter.
Avoid the hose.
An average hose wastes six gallons each minute, so between spraying your friends in the face, watering the driveway and backyard water games that’ll send your kid to the hospital, you’re pretty much the worst person in the world. Don’t be irresponsible; pay attention to the news and save the cement washing for next year.
Landscape like a badass.
Water your plants using excess water from inside instead of running the sprinklers or hose, and then use mulch to trap the moisture so you don’t have to water them as often. The women around the neighborhood will take notice and follow suit, earning you a gold star and title of “Environmentalist of the Block” while giving you a good name in the local dating scene. Women love nothing more than a man who knows how to handle his yard.
Compose compost piles and avoid the sink.
Build compost piles out of unused materials or use the garbage for discarding food instead of running the sink. Scrape your plates clean with a fork, or just let the dog lick it clean. That’s actually gross – don’t do that – but the rest is a great idea. With the intense heat, the garbage gets extra smelly and attracts gnats, flies and ants, so get a smaller waste basket and discard the trash slightly more frequently. It might seem like a further waste of plastic bags, but sometimes in an eco-crisis, you’ve got to bend the rules a tad.
Buy bottled water – for now.
Normally we don’t support the heavy use of bottled water, but in a drought, it saves water to get it from a source that has already packaged it so you don’t have to use it at home. Sounds crazy, but it sort of makes sense. When it’s over, go back to getting water the old-fashioned way and use your reusable container. We do, however, highly recommend you remember to properly recycle to avoid further plastic pollution.
And pray for rain.
Because if it finally does rain, especially out west, it will solve a lot of major problems. Then we can go back to flushing our toilets whenever we want.
