And you have to think that it could also serve as an article on why he’ll never get another blow job.
According to UNILAD, a man named William Lloyd recently wrote an article for The Tab detailing the reason behind why he will no longer perform oral sex on women.
Yeah, good luck with that, Bill.
Lloyd said the reason behind his refusal to stick his tongue in another woman’s vagina stems from the first time he ever did so, an experience that resulted in her ejaculating a “hot, sticky, wet jet of piss” in his face:
“The next day my eyes were dry and itchy,” Lloyd wrote. “They appeared to be swimming in some kind of red soup. More than piss I felt rinsed in a shame and embarrassment so total as to make me say to myself that I’d never go down on a girl a second time. It isn’t rational or nice but it’s the ridiculous truth. And it really, really put me off going there ever again.”
Naturally, more than a few women didn’t take too kindly to Lloyd’s words:
@lemonsand also… some men genuinely enjoy going down. This guy needs better friends.
— Ella Dawson (@brosandprose) October 26, 2015
@hellolanemoore oh, I didn’t realize my ex was writing for The Tab. huh
— Meth Lab for Cutie (@kiralc) October 26, 2015
@lemonsand Also the whole premise of this is “someone came on my face.” Have…have you talked to any woman who’s gone down a dude?
— halloween is my bday (@mcgreenw) October 26, 2015
We’ll just go ahead and set the over/under for the number of months it takes Lloyd to write a reciprocal article titled, “The day I murdered my sex life,” at three months.
Good luck, gentlemen: What Women Want In A Penis, According To Women Themselves
