Photo: Marcy Maloy (Getty Images)
They say that, when it comes to love, age doesn’t matter, but the members of the Cougar Life dating website would probably strongly disagree. Namely, this community has only one purpose and that is to connect older, mature women with young, somewhat unsuspecting men. Does that sound great to you? If it does, you could try your luck and you might meet a not-so-famous doppelganger of Charlize Theron (by the way, she’s 41) and be happy for the rest of your life. The problem is – how to talk to older (they prefer the word mature) women? Well, here are some fantastic conversation topics to get you started.
Shopping
Needless to say, all women love shopping regardless of their age. If you’ve ever had a chance to be the unfortunate husband or boyfriend who carries all those bags in the shopping mall as your partner tries to visit every possible store a couple of times, you know what we’re talking about. So, does that relate to older women? Absolutely, you just need to modify it a bit. Mature women don’t care about clothes as much as they care about milk discounts, prune juice, and liver specialties. In order to be able to keep the conversation going, you need to mention all of these things fondly and add a statement or two how everything was better “back in the days.” Once you see that glare in their wrinkle-suppressed eyes, you’ll know she’s all yours.
Young People
We’ve already mentioned that these Cougars love young, strapping men, but it’s a conflicting love, in a way. Being elderly, they’re bound to dislike the young people for their brisk attitudes and lack of respect. “How about those kids today” is probably the best pickup line you can use on the somewhat aging women. Chances are she’ll start going on about the problems of youth for hours and all you have to do is nod your head slowly and gasp at random times. After about 3-4 hours, she will feel the closeness to you and you’ll be able to buy her a drink or, preferably, a bowl of warm soup. Of course, all of that hate for the youth is just hidden craving for their acceptance. You will be that breaking point in her life when she finally admits it.
Online
Of course, since we’re talking about the coougarlife.com website, your first contact will probably be online. So, how should you behave? Well, you will need to be extra careful and full of understanding because chances are, your elderly partner isn’t all that familiar with computer technologies and, therefore, the internet. Ask her to tell you about herself, but don’t get upset if the reply doesn’t come for hours. You have to understand that computer, to her, is a magical machine that works in mysterious ways so using it is nearly an impossible task. If the reply on cougarlife does come after a day or two, be ready to offer a compliment, congratulating her on a job well done. Believe us, she will appreciate it very much. On the other hand, in order to avoid this arduous messaging system, try to find out her address as soon as possible. That way you can send her a letter and remind her of the good old times when people would court via post office.
General Tips
For the end, here are a couple of extremely useful tips to help you with your everyday cougar situations.
- Never ask your senior partner to go out dancing. She is most likely to say yes, but you’ll have to call the ambulance when she eventually breaks a hip.
- Whenever she encounters something she can’t read because of her poor eyesight, try to pretend like it’s not important, so as not to remind her that she’s that much closer to death.
- Whatever she knits you, accept it with a wide smile, regardless of how horrible and unwearable it is.
- Don’t ask her about her age, just assume that she’s seen quite a lot.
- In order to avoid conflicts with people who are bound to make fun of you when you’re out together with your grey-haired female friend, you need to be prepared. Welcome those ridiculing questions like “Is that your grandma, dude?” with a simple “Yes” and they will leave you alone. The best part is that, because of her poor hearing, she won’t even hear you.
Now that you know what kind of a Cougar Life you can expect, go ahead and try your luck. Maybe you will be able to find someone to feed the pigeons with for the rest of (her) life.
