Photo: Spiderplay (Getty Images)
What would the world be like without Instagram “likes?” How would we rank trending posts or measure the influence of influencers? Would the world slip into chaos or quietly move on without so much as a hiccup? We may be finding out sooner than we thought, as Instagram begins beta-testing a version of its platform without the “likes” feature.
The social media icon is testing a small group in Canada to see how removing the use of “likes” will affect interactions on Instagram. If the company deems the change beneficial, they may roll out the update globally, leaving millions of users without a convenient means of self-validation. In preparation for such a catastrophe, Mandatory is testing nine alternate sources of validation to help us through what some are calling “the sum of all fears.” Find your fallout plan below.
In other news: Mandatory Funny Tweets to Finish Your Week 5-10-2019
Social media meltdown: World Experiences Most Productive Day of the Century As Facebook and Instagram Both Go Down
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instagram likes
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Go into crushing debt to buy a really sweet car you can cruise the neighborhood in.
Back in the day, this was the only way to do it. You'd polish up the old Mustang, drop the top, and drive around the block with the music blaring until someone noticed you.
But considering all the trade wars with China, a classic gas-guzzler may not be sustainable.
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Get validation from the guys at Cold Stone Creamery.
They smile and sing every time you come in. And it feels really good. But lately, your tolerance for lactose is waning, and the calories are a killer.
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Make meaningful in-person connections.
Oh, right. That never works.
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Hijack a float during a parade and perform in front of thousands of people.
This works amazingly well, but unfortunately, there aren't enough parades to keep this scheme going year round.
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Volunteer at an old folks home.
It felt good at first, but then you realized Bob, Carol, and Margot could never remember your name. Your new fam turned out to be nothing but a bunch of cold-hearted geriatrics.
Unlike.
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Pay someone to follow you around and applaud.
Maybe USC has an internship program or something. Worth looking into.
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Ask your ex to adore you again.
Jeez, still bitter after all these years? We were on a break!
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Go back to Facebook.
Is this what it's come to? Maybe we have no choice but to go back to 2010 when a thumbs-up barely meant anything.
We'll do what we have have to, to survive. But somehow, these "likes" just don't feel as good.
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Hit the strip club.
Your girlfriend might not approve, but the instant validation found around here feels incredibly authentic. And you're helping pay for Candy's medical school.
We'll see you down at Sam's Hofbrau.
