Just because a bar looks fancy doesn’t mean their cocktails are held to a high standard. Many posh watering holes and barkeeps still source their sour mix or margarita mix from big plastic jugs and are more than happy to use bottom-shelf tequila or vodka when crafting your drink. Have we made you paranoid yet? Good. There are lots of ways a bartender can ruin your favorite cocktail, and as a conscientious drinker and paying customer, you should be aware of all of them. We’ve done the dirty work for you so you don’t have to imbibe anything subpar ever again.
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Bad Cocktails
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They Use Artificial Mixers
If the bartender constantly reaches under the bar to grab a big plastic jug of premade sour mix or margarita mix, you should probably only order a beer or turn around and walk right out.
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They Use Cheap Booze
Sure, many beers use well drinks to make cocktails. How else can they charge $5 for a margarita? But, if they consider themselves to be a “cocktail bar” and they’re using bottom-shelf spirits, there’s something not computing there.
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They Use Too Many Garnishes
We enjoy a garnish every now and then, but there’s really no reason for your bloody mary to come with a full pizza, a hot dog, and a piece of fried chicken. That’s not a cocktail. That’s a meal with a drink to wash it down.
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They Use the Wrong Ratios
Obviously, you wouldn’t feel comfortable ordering a drink from a bartender who is staring at a recipe the whole time. But you also wouldn’t like one who doesn’t measure anything while making your cocktail. Would you eat a loaf of bread made by someone who didn’t measure out any ingredients? The same goes for a mixed drink.
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The Ingredients Aren't Fresh
It’s amazing the difference between a bottle of store-bought juice and freshly squeezed juice. You might not notice it immediately, but if the bar you go to isn’t using any fresh ingredients, you’re really missing out.
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The Drink Is Too Sour
Many popular drinks like the whiskey sour and daiquiri contain lime juice. If your bartender isn’t one for attention to detail, they might add too much, making your drink a little too tart for your taste.
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The Drink Is Too Sweet
If your bartender is sloppily adding ingredients without really paying attention, there’s a possibility your drink will be cloyingly sweet. That also means it probably doesn’t have much booze in it.
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They Use Too Many Ingredients
We’re all for creativity in the cocktail world, but does your new seasonal cocktail really need 12 ingredients, including four types of bitters? Probably not. Tone it down a bit, please.
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They Use Too Much Booze
We know what you’re thinking: how could there possibly be a cocktail with too much booze? Well, there isn’t as long as your goal is to stagger home drunk. If all you taste is whiskey and you paid for a creatively named mixed drink, you got ripped off. Next time just order your go-to whiskey on the rocks.
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There's Too Much Ice
A clear sign you’re going to be really disappointed with your cocktail is when it contains so much ice that you can barely see any of the drink itself. A few slurps of your paper straw and you’re going to be done. Is that really worth $20?
