Photo: Matteo Colombo (Getty).
One of the most popular tourist destinations in the world, Madrid is one of the best spots in Europe for nightlife, site seeing and history. Spaniards are insanely nice and generally like tourists, but don’t embarrass yourself by trying to blend in without first properly versing yourself in some less-talked about cultural differences.
Photo: Glen Dover.
1.Don’t Say Adios.
Unlike in Mexico, saying “adios” in Madrid holds a more sinister, brooding tone. It’s like saying a final goodbye. It’s not a big deal if you do say it, but it’s like holding a big sign on your head that says “I’m a tourist trying to blend in.” Hasta Luego and Ciao are the more commonly used farewells.
2. Getting Drunk Before Dinner Is Seriously Frowned Upon.
In Spain, it’s normal to have a few rounds at lunch or before dinner. It’s not normal for those rounds to turn into belligerent shots, beer chugging or any other fratty thing you can think of. Spaniards party hard and they’re proud of it. They are also proud of the fact they can drink for 18 hours straight and stay standing.
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3. Don’t J-Walk.
In most countries, hitting humans while driving is pretty frowned upon, even if they’re j-walking. In Spain, cars have the right of way unless otherwise noted, and they will take advantage of that protection. In other words, j-walking on the busy streets of Madrid is like having an unspoken death wish.
4. Keep Your Bag In Sight At All Times.
All in all, Madrid is a pretty safe city, but leaving your bag on a seat at a club while you dance or get a drink is a huge no-no. Nothing says tourist more than this naive move, and you’ll mark yourself as an easy target for the rest of the night and get your stuff jacked.
5. Don’t Drink The “Hot Chocolate.”
It looks like hot chocolate, and smells like hot chocolate, but it’s not hot chocolate. It’s actually a cup of pure melted chocolate, made smooth with a little bit of heavy cream. Yes, it’s delicious, but it’s supposed to be a used as a dipping sauce for churros, not drank. Take a sip and it might solidify in your throat.
6. Stay Till The Bar Closes.
Thanks to their national nap time, called siesta, being too tired to stay at a club is not socially acceptable. Bars and clubs hit their peak around 4:30am and oftentimes these peaks include a “bar crash,” where drinks become practically free and DJs play their best sets. You don’t want to miss the opportunity to truly party like a Spaniard.
7. Don’t Bother Asking for Hot Sauce.
They don’t have it, ever. So don’t ask.
8. Watch Where You Step.
In America, if your dog poops on the ground while you’re walking, it’s not only a common curtousy to pick it up, but it’s also a law. In Madrid, people think a little differently. The government basically taxes them for everything, so therefore the government should clean up after their dog. I’m not making this up. It’s not uncommon to see heaping piles of dog poop when out for your morning stroll. Look down when you walk. Not doing so is like playing roulette with the road.
9. Don’t Say Your Embarassed.
Unless you actually speak Spanish and actually know how to say it. We English speaking peoples have this horrible tendency to speak Spanglish with a facade of intelligence that makes people actually believe we know what we’re talking about. How, you might ask? We take an English word and add some sort of Spanish sounding ending and then call it Spanish. It only makes sense then that “embarrassed” would translate to “embarazada,” right? Wrong. That means pregnant. If you make this mistake, the Spaniards will start talking really fast and pointing to your belly with excitement and you’ll have no idea what’s going on. If you’re a dude, you’ll probably be called some horrible Spanish insult and left alone wondering what you did wrong. For the record, “embarassed” is avergonsada.
10. Don’t Say You Like FC Barcelona.
Even if you do, keep it to yourself. Some things are best left unsaid.
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