Carrot-Addicted Kangaroos Are Attacking Tourists In Australia

Healthy eating habits. Photo: ZlobiWanKenobi (Getty)

Kangaroos are cute. They appear cuddly. They’re also giant assholes.

Kangaroos have always been one of my favorite animals. But hot damn, It’s getting exponentially harder to admire them by the minute. They punch little kids in the face. They’ll attack your car. They’ll attack your dog. Sometimes you just have to punch them in the face.

While some of them appear to be docile creatures, don’t let those dashing looks fool you. Many ‘roos are fierce. News has emerged this week out of Australia that a mob of kangaroos continue to destroy animal lovers at a popular tourist destination (mostly because of their addiction to carrots). You see, to kangaroos, carrots are like heroin. Yet people continue feeding it to them.

It’s all happening at a place a couple hours north of Sydney called Morisset Hospital where countless wild kangaroos congregate. However, as the kangaroos have gotten more comfortable around humans nearby, so have the humans. As a result, they’re feeding them on a regular basis when they’re not supposed to.

According to ABC Australia, one lady had to get 17 stitches from her eye to her chin after she was scratched by a kangaroo wanting more food. And it’s not just carrots. One man had his stomach ripped open after a kangaroo could smell the McDonald’s he had just eaten.

There was a guy who got his stomach gashed open and he wasn’t even feeding them but … they’d been to McDonalds 10 minutes before, so whether they still had the food smell on them I have no idea, but for some reason the kangaroo took to him.” …

…

“If they see a carrot and they’ve been fed a carrot 100 times before by a tourist, then they’re going to come up and take that carrot,” said Andrew Daly, an animal keeper at the Australian Reptile Park.

“And in doing so they can be quite aggressive. They can kick, they can scratch with their front paws and do quite a bit of damage, especially when they’re trying to get those foods that they really like, or could be addicted to.

Oats, cookies, chips, bread, bananas — you name it — people are likely trying to feed it to the kangaroos.

So why’s it so bad about feeding the kangaroos? For starters, if one eat anything other than grass, they could die. They also get so hopped up on the new grub they become hyper-aggressive.

At least the kangaroos aren’t this mean: Judge In Australia Rules Boss ‘Farting On Employee’ Isn’t Bullying

Signs have been put up. But who reads these days? They’ll barely listen to classical music.

So basically, this chick, also visiting Morisset, is lucky to be alive.

Go to Australia. Surf. Hit the Outback. Walk amongst the kangaroos. But please, don’t feed them unless it’s green stuff you pulled out of the ground.

Josh Helmuth is a sports reporter in St. Louis who contributes to Mandatory.