Absolute Nut Job Grabs Woman And Throws Poop Down Her Shorts

You’re not alone if you’re beginning to lose faith in the human race. Take this dickhole, for example.

Here’s a nice young lady minding her own business and enjoying a late Monday afternoon walk on New York City’s Upper East Side when the dude sneaks up behind her, grabs her waist, shoves a bag of feces down her shorts, grabs her ass, and then just casually strolls off as he throws his rubber gloves into the street.

Police on the UES search for man who shoved bag of feces down woman’s pants as she walked https://t.co/vAzSruKTpp pic.twitter.com/tohgcctlcN

— Eyewitness News (@ABC7NY) June 30, 2016

It’s unknown whether the crap in the bag came from the pervert himself or a dog, but to be honest, it doesn’t matter either way. A human being worthy of having a pulse on this planet doesn’t walk around shoving bags o’ shit down other people’s shorts.

Almost just as confusing is why this clown would feel the need to wear rubber gloves in the first place. I mean, if you’re walking around with bags of poop in your possession, odds are that keeping your hands clean isn’t high on your list of priorities.

h/t New York Post

This woman hid poop in her purse and then told everybody about it: Woman Live Tweets Story Of Nightmare Date, Hiding Poop In Her Purse

Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.