Photo: quavondo (Getty Images)
Let’s be clear. No one is rooting for divorce. (At least, we hope they aren’t.) But new divorcees are getting creative in celebrating the end of their marriages. Take, for instance, Kimberly Santleben-Stiteler 0f LaCoste, Texas, who went viral recently for commemorating the end of her 14-year union by blowing up her wedding dress with an explosion felt from 15 miles away.
Her family strapped up her old wedding dress with Tannerite before shooting it with a rifle. The result was a big “kaboom,” with a capital “K.” Santleben-Stiteler said the metaphor was important because it “represented a lie.”
This Texas woman celebrated her divorce by blowing up her wedding dress.https://t.co/XuArNbFDtH pic.twitter.com/EykQ5vWrKF
— Circa (@Circa) November 14, 2018
Santleben-Siteler said the explosion was “bigger and louder than I could have imagined.” Here’s what the wedding dress looked like after being blown up.
Texas woman celebrates divorce with a bang — by blowing up her wedding dress https://t.co/P4KQ11TPtc pic.twitter.com/bFE4Zi6XUV
— Global News Life (@GlobalNewsLife) November 14, 2018
Hey, whatever you have to do to move on! While marriage is never easy, divorce can be traumatic. If celebrating or commemorating the end or your marriage is a healthy, mental release for you, then more power to you! Evidently, more people think this route is one worth taking, with “divorce parties” becoming more of a common occurrence.
If you don’t feel like lighting your wedding dress (or tux) on fire or throwing it into the ocean, below are just a few other safe possible solutions for your post-marriage catharsis.
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Divorce Shower
People have baby showers and bridal showers. Why not a “divorce shower”? Play games, drink, go crazy.
Booze Exchange
We’re nearing the holidays. Instead of a “white elephant” gift exchange, how about a “booze exchange”? IPAs, gin, wine, whatever your heart desires, it’s all bound to be unwrapped at some point.
Bachelorette Or Bachelor Party, Take Two
Take a trip somewhere with your best friends. If you love nature, head up the mountains. If you want to relax in the sun, go to the beach. If you need to go berserk, fly to Burning Man.
Indulge Yourself
Eat cake. Pop the champagne. Have all the chocolate you want. Was your ex a health nut? Fly to California just to have In-N-Out.
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Adopt A Dog
There’s no reason you should feel lonely just because you’re single again (and moving back in with the parentals is not an option). Get some TLC from a companion who will always love you back, no matter what. Name your new pet “Butterscotch,” because it’s impossible to grow resentment towards anything named Butterscotch. Bonus: people who own pets reportedly get more tail.
Josh Helmuth is a sports reporter in St. Louis who contributes to Mandatory.
