If you thought Wikipedia wormholes were bad, wait till you get a load of Uchuu, the brand new simulation of the entire universe you can download for free right now. Created by a team of international scientists (surprisingly not assembled by an evil supervillain), we’re hoping this futuristic study of dark matter turns into a Minecraft expansion pack real soon.
There’s no question Uchuu is a time-suck. With roughly 13.8 billion years of galactic data, 2.1 trillion particles of matter, and a mind-melting 9.63 billion lightyears of space to peruse, you can literally watch dark matter grow old and die in the palm of your hand. It’s like having access to the entire Universe’s Facebook profile, with every nude picture and drunk message they ever sent since the Big Bang days.
Mapping out this much data took an ungodly amount of processing power. Using the supercomputer ATERUI II at the National Astronomical Observatory of Japan, researchers harnessed 40,200 CPU cores for over 20 million processing hours to create this divine nightmare.
And we know what you’re thinking. Imagine what this computer could have done for porn.
Despite the misuse of resources, Institute of Astrophysics of Andalusia doctoral student Julia F. Ereza explains how badass Uchuu is. “We can go forward, backward, and stop in time, we can ‘zoom in’ on a single galaxy or ‘zoom out’ to visualize a whole cluster, we can see what is really happening at every instant and in every place of the universe from its earliest days to the present.”
And if you zoomed in really close on this exact moment (the proverbial height of humanity), you’d see three guys eating chalupas outside a Taco Bell in San Diego.
Obviously, simulation theory fans are having a conniption.
If you’re not familiar, simulation theory posits that we are all living inside a computer simulation for one simple reason: While there can exist an infinite number of simulations, there can only be one reality. According to this ratio of infinity-to-one, odds are we’re living in a simulation right now. And thanks to Uchuu, that simulation isn’t space porn.
Or is it? Check out a sample below and decide for yourself:
Cover Photo: fStop Images – Caspar Benson (Getty Images)
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 9.20.21
-
OnlyFans Model Claims She Can’t Get a Normal Job Because She’s ‘So Hot’ (You Be the Judge)
-
Meanwhile in Texas: Pro-life Website Created to Snitch on Women Bombarded By Furry Porn Spam (Finally, A Good Use For the Internet)
-
Meanwhile in Airports: Woman Goes Through Security Wearing Nothing But Mask and Bikini Brings New Level to Flying Friendly Skies
-
Meanwhile in India: Man Dies After Gluing His Penis Hole Shut, And Now Our Worst Nightmares Are Real
-
Man Who Married Sex Doll Cheats on It With Ashtray, Doll Technically Entitled to Half His Cheeto Crumbs and Stolen Underwear
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Naked Woman Driving Golf Cart Through Police Standoff Quickly Defuses Situation, How Long Til They Hire Her?
-
Meanwhile in Maryland: Man Stabs Woman in Butt With Semen-Filled Syringe, Someone Needs a Refresher on the Birds and the Bees (Video)
-
Watch Pilot Dario Acosta Set a World Record For Flying Inside This Architectural Marvel
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Super Mom Holds Teen So Her Kid Could Beat Him Up, Nice Little Mother-Son Afternoon
-
Meanwhile in China: Government Limits Online Video Games to Just 3 Hours a Week (But Porn’s Still Safe, Right?)