According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have already been more than 240 mass shootings this year in the United States. And in the time it took to write that sentence, 50 more probably just happened. Yeah, yeah, guns don’t kill people, people kill people, but being able to buy an assault rifle makes it a whole lot easier.
You know how Fox News is perpetually screaming that we need to be more appreciative of police and stop whining when they kill unarmed Black people in broad daylight? Their rationale is that if we did away with the cops, then someday an awful thing would happen and there’d be no police to save the day. Well, not only did the opportunity to save the day arise and get soundly rejected by cops in Uvalde, but the useless government leeches actually pepper-sprayed and tried to arrest actual badass parents trying to rush in to save their kids.
And yet Republicans continue to blame mass shootings on virtually everything on Earth except the military-style guns that have been used in nearly every single gun massacre. After all, NRA campaign cash means much more than the lives of elementary school kids.
But the really sick and sad part about these gun shootings is just how easy it is to acquire an assault rifle versus getting some other very common, innocuous things. The Uvalde shooter was not old enough to buy alcohol but he could easily purchase these weapons on his 18th birthday. The very notion of how easy it is to get an assault rifle versus everyday necessities is so insane that it may result in a sudden coronary. So we at Mandatory have come up with eight things that are infinitely harder to get than an assault rifle in America.
Cover Photo: CaseyHillPhoto (Getty Images)
8 things easier than guns
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1. Go Topless on Insta
Apparently, Instagram bars women from posting topless pics of themselves on Instagram. Well, maybe they should be holding an AR-15 when doing it since it's so easy to get one of those.
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2. Get Sudafed
If you have a nasty head cold, then you're better off treating it with an AR-15. If you want Sudafed, you need to ask your pharmacist for a box and provide your photo ID and contact information when you buy. There is also a limit to how much you can buy per month, depending on your state and personal history.
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3. Buy Birth Control
In order to get birth control (be it pills, an IUD, an arm implant, etc.) you’re required to find a reputable gynecologist, make an appointment (sometimes weeks in advance), pay your copay, fill out paperwork, explain why you need it, then obtain a prescription or schedule another appointment for insertion. It's easier to take a life than it is to prevent creating one.
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4. Adopt a Dog
Want a shelter dog? It could take anywhere from two days to three weeks to legally adopt a pet, depending on the owner or shelter's regulations. They may also have to schedule an in-home visit first. So maybe adopt an AR-15 instead.
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5. File For Unemployment
For many of us who lost our work due to Covid restrictions in 2020, we all know the agony of trying to file for unemployment. Not only is the paperwork proving that you meet your state’s criteria ridiculous, you may find yourself on the phone for hours if you ever need to dispute something (and you will).
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6. Get Affordable Healthcare
Although the Affordable Care Act has made it easier to purchase health insurance and access Medicaid, premiums are still absurdly high in many states and it still takes an average of 45 days to get approved for Medicaid.
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7. Get an Abortion
Reproductive rights are under assault in America and, if the conservative-leaning Supreme Court has its way, we may soon see an end to abortion rights. In fact, Texas has basically banned abortion services, and, worse yet, put bounties on doctors who try to assist woman seeking them.
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8. Get on an Airplane
In addition to showing your ID and boarding pass, some airports also require you to remove liquids and your laptop from your luggage, then walk through a full body X-ray (or a pat-down) for TSA screening. No one is asking gun owners to take off their shoes in public!
