In an ideal world this would happen to everyone — your best friend has an incredibly sexy mom who struts around in a lacey bathrobe without any underwear. She asks you to help her hang a picture. Whoops! Your shirt fell off. One thing leads to another and… you know the story.
But it will NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU unless you know how to pick up on the right signals. Luckily, we here at CRAVE have designed a little quiz to help you figure out… “Is Your Friend’s Mom Hitting On You?
1. Your buddy’s mom asks you to mow the lawn. What is she insisting you wear?
a.) Overalls.
b.) Work boots and gloves.
c.) A speedo.
d.) A gimp mask and ass-less chaps.
2. What is your friend’s mom’s Facebook Status?
a.) “What a great spin-class today!”
b.) “Lasagna for dinner tonight!”
c.) “Rodger’s out of town again. Feeling lonely L”
d.) “I need an oil change. Preferably someone who can check my rear gaskets.”
3. How does your friend’s mom identify her relationship status?
a.) Married.
b.) Single.
c.) It’s complicated.
d.) Married in the mornings, single after school.
4. Your friend’s mom lets you know you left your socks after a sleepover. Where did she say you left them?
a) In the basement.
b.) Under the bed.
c.) In her bedroom.
d.) Between her butt cheeks. (We don’t know how they got there either.)
5. What is your friend’s mom’s favorite song?
a.) “Take it Easy”
b.) “Honky Tonk Woman”
c.) “Lay Lady Lay”
d.) “Face Down, Ass Up.”
6. What is your friend’s mom’s favorite thing to say to you when you drop by?
a.) “Look who’s here!”
b.) “Welcome, did your muscles get bigger?”
c.) “I bet you could just toss me all around this place.”
d.) “Lookie who’s here. Do you think you can help me re-arrange my bras from biggest to smallest?”
7. What is your friend’s mom’s favorite leisure activity?
a.) Knitting.
b.) Badminton.
c.) Tanning in the nude.
d.) Grinding her pearl necklace between her teeth.
8. According to your friend’s mom, how many butt-plugs are too many?
a.) “Eww!”
b.) 1.
c.) 3.
d. “How dare you ask me to put a number on something I love so much.”
9. What does your friend’s mom keep in the back of her mini-van?
a.) Soccer Balls.
b.) Groceries.
c.) Mattress.
d.) A f*ck swing and nipple clamps.
If you answered mostly (a), your friend’s mom is not hitting on you.
If you answered mostly (b), we yawn at your friend’s mom.
If you answered mostly (c), your friend’s mom is a little saucy, but not a total horn ball.
If you answered mostly (d), who needs birth control when you have menopause?
There is no CRAVE ONLINE, only ZUUL.
