Photo: Warner Bros.
So far, 2017 has proven to be a difficult year, considering all the bans that have taken place and the hilarious bans that will inevitably take place in 2017. But when the government tries to date our beloved pet detective, Ace Ventura, that’s when we get hostile. Of all the low-life ways to break our spirits, this new era of politics thinks it can take away the one movie, possibly one of the greatest comedies of all time, we turn to in times of great duress. If you click on the iTunes link for Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, you’ll find the movie is completely unavailable for both rental and purchase, and since DVDs and VHS are of the objects that have gone obsolete in the last 10 years, we’re in a dilly of a pickle. Well, we won’t stand for it!
We’ve decided that if we can’t give you the movie, we can at least give you the highlights (in order, or as close as we can recall them) so that you feel the full effect of pure hilarity, as if you were watching the movie itself. That’s something no government can take away from you. There are way too many moments to capture so we did our best, but nothing compares to the movie in its entirety. As the old saying goes, “You can take my eyes, but not my pet detective,” we will stand proudly with our American flags billowing in the winds of Jim Carrey jokes, cartoonish grown man animation and the inevitable silence that comes once the film has concluded. Luckily, they made a sequel. God bless Ace Ventura!
And in case we missed a few dozen, here are some more Ace quotes you’ll love.
For more Jim Carrey fun, check out this: ‘The Cable Guy’ Is One of the Most Underrated Comedies for 20 Years Now
Ace Ventura 3
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"HDS"
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"You Wanna Gimme a Push While You're Back There?"
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"Like a Glove"
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"Captain's Log"
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"I'd Like to ASS You a Few Questions"
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"Signoff"
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"Only This"
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"This House Is Clear"
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"Fish Boy"
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"You Smell Terrific"
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"Paté?"
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"Ethan's Hunt"
[Cue Mission: Impossible theme song]
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"That's Not Snowflake!"
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"Do NOT Go in There"
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"I'm Ready to Go in, Coach"
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"Super Slow-Mo"
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"Halftime!"
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"...And a Clean Pair of Shorts"
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"Pet Det."
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"Bathroom Detective"
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"Einhorn is Finkle...Finkle is Einhorn..."
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"Oh GOD"
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"EINHORN IS A MAN!"
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"Your Gun Is Digging Into My Hip"
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"The Worst Case of Hemorrhoids..."
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"I'll Be Here All Week"
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"You Cost Me $25 Grand, Polly"
