I think it’s fair to say that we go to the Fast and Furious movies for two simple things: over the top car chases and melodrama so ham-fisted and schmaltzy it would have been laughed out of the writers room of As the World Turns. It’s about family, you see. It’s about family. No, seriously, IT’S ABOUT FAMILY, now let’s chase this airplane down a 100 mile runway and attach it to our muscle cars with grappling hooks.
We’ve been told that the Fast and Furious movies are about family so danged much that by now we’ve actually started to accept it. That means it can’t help but feel like a little bit of a betrayal when the new film – The Fate of the Furious – expects us to believe that team leader Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) has betrayed everyone he knows and loves, and has joined forces with an international supervillain whose first crime appears to have been stealing Angelina Jolie’s hair from Gone in 60 Seconds. Her name is Cipher, she’s played by Charlize Theron, and she’s a brilliant hacker who lives on a high-tech airplane with her small army of mercenaries and attractive young interns.
Universal Pictures
The problem is, we DON’T come to the Fast and Furious movies for the plots. So even though pitting the rest of the franchise’s ensemble cast against their seemingly unstoppable leader is a pretty fun idea, it’s a huge mistake to keep Dom’s motivations a secret for what feels like half the movie. It’s kind of like knowing your friends and family are throwing you a surprise party. You know it’ll end well, but first you have to endure those insulting days or weeks when they have to pretend they don’t like you anymore.
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We don’t need manipulative bullshit from our Fast and Furious family. We just need cartoonish car chases and hugs. Fortunately, The Fate of the Furious eventually delivers all of those things. There’s one action sequence in particular that’s so overpoweringly stupid you want to stand up and cheer. The movie acts like it’s taking big dangerous risks with the franchise but it’s really it’s just withholding all the really good stuff for a while, in an attempt to make it feel more meaningful later.
Universal Pictures
There’s more to The Fate of the Furious, but not much. In an attempt to catch Dominic Toretto the team recruits Deckard Shaw, a villain who killed a beloved team member in the previous films. You’d think that’d be a bigger deal but the only person who really seems to give a damn is Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), and he isn’t so much mad about the murder as he is about being punched out by a British guy last time. The Fate of the Furious twists into knots trying to make Deckard seem like a good guy now, and Jason Statham is so damned likable the film almost gets away with it, but still… HE MURDERED HAN.* Should you really be inviting him to your family barbecue?
The Fate of the Furious isn’t the worst film in the franchise. It’s still very entertaining, and in the end you’ll get your money’s worth, but this film ultimately illustrates just how delicately balanced these hot rod explosion lovefests actually are. The Fast and Furious series is based on our affection for these characters, and if you betray that affection – even just for a little while – it has consequences. It’s about family, but sometimes a member of your family screws you over. You’re allowed to be upset about that. At least until they get in a car chase with a Russian nuclear submarine. Then all is forgiven.
*Editor’s Note: A previous version of this review stated that Deckard Shaw shot Han in the face, which was inaccurate. Deckard merely blew Han up.
All Nine ‘Fast and Furious’ Movies, Ranked:
Top Photos: Universal Pictures
William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and Canceled Too Soon, and watch him on the weekly YouTube series What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
All Nine Fast and Furious Movies, Ranked
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9. Fast & Furious (2009)
The fourth Fast & Furious movie is, in no uncertain terms, a total mess. The action is all over the place and the story makes no impact. The best you can say for Fast & Furious is that it moved all the pieces in position, setting the stage for some spectacular follow-ups that pushed the franchise in a more exciting direction.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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8. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
Vin Diesel sits the second Fast & Furious movie out and it's easy to see why. 2 Fast 2 Furious is a lackluster retread of the original, with forgettable drama and merely adequate action. The studio obviously didn't know what to do with this property yet, although at least somebody had the good sense to amplify the enjoyably overt homoerotic subtext.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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7. The Fate of the Furious (2017)
The action is as big as ever in The Fate of the Furious, but Dominic Toretto's motivation for betraying his team is kept secret for far too long, and Deckard Shaw's turn to the light side completely glosses over the fact that he murdered a beloved character. These two flaws make it a little too difficult to get invested in this outing.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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6. Furious 7 (2015)
What should have been the best and biggest Fast & Furious became a strange meta-textual farewell to the series' late protagonist Paul Walker, after he died tragically during filming. The action is great and Deckard Shaw is an incredible villain, but the changes that had to be made to the storyline make little sense. It's a miracle the film works at all.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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5. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
The original The Fast and the Furious is a shameless rip-off of Point Break, with a hunky young FBI agent going undercover with seductive extreme sports thieves and questioning his loyalties. But it's a good rip-off, with a fun cast, an emotional storyline and a great climactic high-speed heist.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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4. Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
Letty comes back from the dead - with amnesia, no less - in this ecstatically excessive sequel. The set pieces are epic, the emotions are epic-er. Everything about this movie is gloriously ridiculous in the best possible way.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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3. Better Luck Tomorrow (2002)
Before director Justin Lin started making Fast & Furious movies he made a big splash with A Better Tomorrow, a low budget crime drama about overachieving teenagers who turn to delinquency, mostly for the hell of it. Better Luck Tomorrow is a scrappy, somewhat ramshackle drama that packs a big wallop. More to the point, it introduced audiences to the character of Han, who would go on to star in multiple Fast & Furious movies, starting with...
Photo: Paramount Pictures
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2. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
A departure for the Fast & Furious franchise, but a welcome one, Tokyo Drift is a slick and effective Karate Kid riff that stars Lucas Black as an undisciplined street racer who moves to Japan and has to learn a new way to drive from Han. The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift would have been great as a stand-alone movie, but it became weirdly significant to the franchise as the filmmakers started turning the fourth, fifth and sixth installments into an elaborate prelude to its events.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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1. Fast Five (2011)
The best Fast & Furious movie is also, no bones about it, one of the best action movies in a very long time. The team dynamic is spot on, the action is incredible, the humor is genuinely funny, and the plot is simple and effective. The criminals from the previous films have to become unlikely heroes, turning their vehicular skills against a common enemy. Dwayne Johnson also shows up to finally give them a worthy opponent. And it all ends in one of the most wonderful and absurd car chases ever put on camera. Fast Five is the fastest and arguably the most furious installment yet.
Photo: Universal Pictures
