Photo: Stringer/Anadolu Agency (Getty Images)
Since the dawn of cinema monster movies has been a very significant, passionately loved sub-genre, and until this day we’re collectively quite excited when a trailer for one drops. The announcement of Kong: Skull Island made quite a bit of buzz before its release, and eventually more than half a billion dollars, but still was hugely disappointing. It’s arguably the worst monster movie of the century, and, unfortunately, the competition was hard.
So here are the reasons why Kong: Skull Island made mistakes that no monster movie, or a movie in general, should make. Light spoilers ahead.
I Monster Movie Low: Different Expectations
What the ComicCon trailer promised was 180 degrees different than what eventually came to the big screens. It promised a gritty, scary, ambience-based, visually matured movie, and all we got was a B-movie with a lot of slow motion and the color red in the background. What got introduced to the world as a cultivated world-creating, creepy sci-fi story turned into a child’s play fantasy resembling Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008). Which is especially irritating when so many amazing mature movies didn’t get the love they deserved.
II Monster Movie Low: Generic Characters
Yes, the monster movie is about the monster primarily, but the characters always lead the movie, and in the case of Kong: Skull Island they lead it to be a letdown and completely forgettable. All characters are generic tropes, which makes you wonder why did so many A-listers accept to be in the movie, but the Samuel L. Jackson’s character and portrayal are the worst. Which hurts the monster movie the most as he is the main villain. He’s trying to make his Vietnam war regrets right by killing the monkey who killed his man and ends up looking straight up crazy despite perhaps having a legitimate reasoning, and that is due to Jackson’s overacting like he’s in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
All the other characters the audience has already seen countless times, and their traits and actions are always expected.
III Monster Movie Low: Cheesiest Lines
For too much of this monster movies there is a battle of two opposing tones, and the B-movie one overpowers the high-stakes serious one with too much cringey lines. “It’s time to show Kong that man is king!” being just one of many of them who wouldn’t even work in the ’90s movies. Comedic relief is needed in arguably any movie, but when done in a sitcom kinda way like in this exchange, it just takes the viewer out of the world of the movie.
Hank Marlow: The Iwis won’t speak their name, but I call them… Skullcrawlers.
James Conrad: Why?
Hank Marlow: Cause it sounds neat.
And instead of having a laugh to break the tension of a monster movie we have two different movies intertwining in one and neither managing to achieve their purpose.
IV Monster Movie Low: Cheap Visual Tricks
Director Jordan Vogt-Roberts was pretty vocal about how his monster movie will be quite different from the other, especially other Kong movies. The trailers strengthen his promise, but when put into a frame of 1:58 minutes it just feels cheap. Yes, there are some amazing shots, but they’ve already been discovered in the trailers, or they repeat themselves too much to have any real worth. The really bright red sun behind Kong or other monster being one of them. Generally, use of very bright colors is omnipresent in the movie and movie would be 20 minutes shorter if not for all the slow motion that is used.
Edgar Wright like fast-paced close-up shots also don’t feel like they belong in a monster movie. For all the tricks Vogt-Roberts pulls and the almost constant action, he still didn’t manage to pull the viewers in the story like, for example, Mad Max: Fury Road did.
V Monster Movie Low: Size and Logic Irregularities
Throughout the movie it seems like Kong is changing in size, the most notable moment being when his pawn print is seen on a mountain because it’s the half size of the whole Kong in most other shots. The island would need to be incredibly big, easily spotted on a man due to the sizes of the creatures.
Besides size, the movie is flawed and cheap in its representation of the spirit of the time it’s set in. A little rock music and too many contemperery styled jokes between soldiers. The biggest drawback might be the lack of any motivation behind the actions of the movie’s main monster villains. While unecessery things are explained in great detail, most of the important stuff for a monster movie, like this one, are left untouched.
What did you think of this monster movie? Did you like it or have any other complaints to point out? Vent in the comments below.
