America: choose your fighters. You know, if the fighters were actually presidential candidates Mike Bloomberg and Donald Trump. President Trump is infuriated over unflattering fat photos of him in Bloomberg’s campaign ads. True to the style we’ve grown accustomed to over the course of his presidency, Trump took the moral high ground by personally attacking Bloomberg’s height. So, we have to ask, when it comes down to the kind of man you want running this great country which do you prefer? Keep reading to weigh the evidence on whether you should cast your vote for the overweight or vertically-challenged candidate!
Photo: Paul Bruinooge (Getty Images)
Trump tweets for your feet: The Latest Footwear for an Absurd Administration
National hero: Here’s The Dude Who Deactivated Donald Trump’s Twitter For 11 Minutes
When it comes to how the leader of the free world looks, would you prefer a fatter man to a shorter one? Let us know if this even matters or if you can’t be fooled because despite their shape they’re the same privileged person.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
fat vs short the presidental debate
-
Bloomberg: Smol But Mighty Cute
Donald Trump referred to Mike Bloomberg as a "5'4" mass of dead energy." However, alongside this seal, he somehow looks smaller than 5'4" and more alive. Points for pimping cute animal videos towards the millennial base Bloomberg is desperate to appeal to.
-
Trump: A Confident Big and Tall
The Donald could buckle under the pressure of having his largeness called into question, but actually doing something about the extra pounds is what a loser would do. So obviously staying fat is the only way to win.
-
Bloomberg: Podium-Challenged
It's not that we're saying no one would listen to Bloomberg if he were to become president. However, we wonder how often podiums will impede his ability to be seen and thereby voted for.
-
Trump: Big Boy's Got the Moves
Despite being a hefty guy, Trump has the best two-step in the business. This is how he's managed to literally dance his was out of ever being caught, and it will definitely get him votes.
-
Bloomberg: Sworn Enemy of Big Gulps
The real reason Mike Bloomberg outlawed super-sized drinks is that they're half his size. Can we trust a man who's too weak for Big Gulps?
-
Trump: Forever Consuming Trump
Donald Trump's bizarre authoritative political style only pales in comparison to his physical girth. This is a guy that takes up a lot of space and isn't sorry about it...but will you be?
-
Bloomberg: The Punchline in a Billion Short Guy Jokes
At 5'4", Mike Bloomberg is certifiably a tiny guy. He's also one of the richest men in the world. Do we want his real little dude money infiltrating the White House? Or do we prefer the fat cat version of American corruption?
-
Trump: A Bottom-Heavy Boomer
Look, no one can argue with the fact that The Donald has really packed on the pounds in the White House. It's not a good look no matter where you land on the political spectrum. So you have to ask yourself: do you want a president shaped like Baby Huey? Well, do you?
