Jonah Hill Arrested on Bourbon Street With Bag of Jerry Garcia’s Ashes (Or Was He?)

We here at Mandatory don’t endorse fake news – unless it’s funny, in which case: bring it on! Like this completely erroneous but entertaining story about Jonah Hill. It originally ran on LiveForLiveMusic.com, and it’s bullshit from beginning to end, but we think you’ll enjoy it.

Basically, the story claimed that the Superbad star was arrested early one Friday morning in New Orleans after trying to broker a very strange deal with a local police officer. The actor was allegedly in NOLA to do research for his role as Jerry Garcia in a new Grateful Dead biopic directed by Martin Scorsese.

According to a report from the New Orleans Police Department, “At 3:17 a.m. CT on Friday morning, after receiving a tip about a bearded man acting erratically, a plainclothes narcotics officer approached the suspect at the corner of Bourbon Street and Iberville Street. Once engaged in conversation, the suspect told the officer, using street slang, ‘For 400 dollars, I got Jerry Garcia in a bag, man,’ and revealed a small pouch. The officer arrested the suspect on charges of solicitation and possession with intent to distribute.”

The article’s author claims that Hill has a lawyer named Jack Straw who is set to defend him when the case goes to trial. “Simply put, Jonah Hill was set up,” Straw said in a statement. “Set up like… I don’t know. Something that people set up. He wasn’t trying to sell anything. That Jerry-in-a-bag is one of his prized possessions and he was simply showing it off to a new friend. These charges are absurd and we intend to prove that in court.”

Do they, though? Because Hill himself seems to think something’s fishy about this news coverage. He posted screenshots of the article on his Instagram with the following caption: “I’d like to deeply apologize to the undercover officer I tried to sell a bag of Jerry Garcia’s ashes to in New Orleans at 3:17am last night. I’m especially sorry because I was in a different city at the time. I’d like to thank the media for being so on point, accurate, ethical and just generally rad and good natured. Oh and positive! I’d also like to apologize to your mom. That’s all I’ll say on that out of respect for all parties.”

So…no, this didn’t happen. But we can see how people might believe it could happen. Maybe Hill can incorporate this ridiculousness into a future screenplay?

Cover Photo: New Orleans Police Department