The Mandatory Kim Jong-un Karaoke Catalog to a Magical Night of Music

Kim Jong-un’s “secret” torture dungeon is the world’s worst kept secret. Not only has its existence been verified by the CIA, MI5, and the Girl Scouts of America (Troop 62 in Tulsa, Oklahoma; Kim Jong-un is a sucker for Thin Mints!) but Kim Jong-un himself has bragged about it publicly on numerous occasions. What does he do there? Karaoke, of course.

Granted, he’s the only one allowed to take the stage, and his subordinates are required to shower him with raucous applause and standing ovations after each song (or else!), but beyond that, his love for singin’ along to famous tunes is as normal as anyone else’s. Recently, Mandatory got a hold of his song catalog and it’s fire!

Scroll on for The Mandatory Kim Jong-un Karaoke Catalog to a Magical Night of Music.

“Detachable Penis” by King Missile

The megalomaniacal despot chose this song simply because the band is named after his favorite toy, and he loves saying the word “penis.”

“I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

We have it on good authority that Kim changes into flannel pajama bottoms before singing along to this tune, and his choreography is always on point.

“Blow Up the Outside World” by Soundgarden

Kim often gets confused when singing these lyrics and has to be reminded that North Korea is not being attacked.

“Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon

Only because his hair is perfect.

“Butter” by BTS

This really needs to stay between us or Kim will lose all credibility. For reals.

“Despacito” by Luis Fonsi, featuring Daddy Yankee

Once you hear Kim’s spot-on Spanish accent, you’ll hold a special place in your heart for the lunatic for the rest of your days.

“Big Energy” By Latto

Damn Kim, we had no idea you could get down like that.

“Devil Inside” by INXS

Despite not being very religious, Kim has expressed his affinity for the Underworld on many occasions. According to his sister, Kim Yo-jong, this is her little bro’s favorite “let’s go start a war” jam.

“My Way” by Frank Sinatra

If Ol’ Blue Eyes knew a North Korean nut-job dictator was singing one of his songs in a subterranean bunker that doubled as a torture dungeon, he’d roll over in his grave. With any luck, Frank will send the ghosts of hitmen past to visit Kim in his sleep and make him “an offer he can’t refuse.”

“Macarena” by Los Del Rio

This is the only song in the catalog that Kim permits others to join him on stage—not to sing (nobody sings when “Macarena” is playing!), but to dance. Kim never dances alone!

Cover Photo: Anthony Kwan / Stringer (Getty Images)