As we all now know, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard had a tumultuous marriage . Hell, that’s putting it politely. As the former celebrity couple battle it out on the stand during the defamation trial Depp brought against Heard, everyone and their mother is debating about the court proceedings online, casting judgment, and trying to pin the blame on someone – most often Heard.
We here at Mandatory are as guilty of making fun of the courtroom drama as any other outlet. But we’re also capable of higher thinking, and recognize a need for calling bullshit when we see it. Because, all joking aside, there are some serious issues at play here, and a lot of the coverage out there is getting it wrong.
This Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial isn’t just about two famous people who fucked each other over; it’s about how men treat women in relationships and what society lets dudes get away with.
To that end, we’ve created this Evolved Man’s Guide to the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Trial. Read it and rethink what these proceedings actually mean.
Cover Photo: STEVE HELBER / Contributor (Getty Images)
Evolved Man Depp Heard Trial
Johnny Depp is desperate for attention.
Johnny Depp may never act on the big or small screens again. (Though Hollywood is notoriously forgiving of male celebrities who exhibit similarly abusive behavior.) Is it just us or does he seem to be enjoying this whole dog-and-pony show a little too much? He waves to fans gathered outside the courtroom as if he’s walking the red carpet. News flash, Johnny: it’s court, not an awards ceremony.
Photo: Chris Kleponis/Consolidated News Pictures (Getty Images)
Depp’s alleged behavior is that of a textbook abuser.
Physical violence. Breaking objects. Damaging property. Jealousy. Being controlling. Love-bombing. Isolation. Blaming others. Begging forgiveness. Making threats. Substance abuse. Narcissism. These are all trademark signs of an abuser and they’re all things exhibited by Depp per the testimony in the trial.
Photo: STEVE HELBER/POOL/AFP (Getty Images)
The accusations of abuse are not equal.
Let’s say, for sake of argument, that Heard shat the bed as Depp alleged. It’s gross. It’s juvenile. But is it terrorizing? No. Even Depp said that he thought it was funny: "I mean... I laughed. It was so outside. It was so bizarre and so grotesque that I could only laugh.” Contrast that with Herd’s accusations that Depp sexually assaulted her with a bottle and forced a “cavity search” on her for drugs. (Can you even fathom how violating these acts are? No, you can’t, because you are not a woman.) How about the fact that Depp wrote about his ex in a text: “Let's burn her. Let's drown her before we burn her. I will fuck her burnt corpse afterwards to make sure she’s dead.” Now ask yourself: who do you think was truly afraid in this relationship?
Photo: JIM WATSON/POOL/AFP (Getty Images)
This isn’t a fair fight.
Depp is a man, with all the societal privileges that affords him. Depp is 22 years older than Heard; one would hope that would also make him wiser. He is 2 inches taller and approximately 40 pounds heavier than Heard; that’s a physical advantage. He is substantially more famous, more respected, and richer than Heard. He is also demonstrably more beloved by fans. An NBC News analysis of 2,300 Twitter profiles tweeting about the trial found that 93% of them were supportive of Depp. These are serious power imbalances. Even if both parties exhibited aggressive behavior, it was never a fair fight.
Photo: EVELYN HOCKSTEIN / POOL / AFP (Getty Images)
Blaming the victim is a cop-out.
Blaming the victim makes this whole scenario so much easier, doesn’t it? Then we don’t have to confront the ugly, vile, damaging ways men treat women. Depp isn’t an abuser; he was abused. Depp isn’t responsible for his behavior; he was under the spell of a she-devil. Depp isn’t deranged; she’s the crazy one. As long as we make this all Heard’s fault, we don’t have to admit that one of the most respected actors of a generation is actually a grade-A, misogynistic asshole – and a criminal one at that.
Photo: JIM WATSON / POOL / AFP (Getty Images)
To emote is human.
Yup, Amber Heard ugly-cried. That’s what people who have suffered unthinkable abuse at the hands of people they once loved are prone to do. Just because she’s an actress doesn’t mean she’s faking it. (And as many of her haters have declared, she’s not that good of an actress. You can’t have it both ways, guys.) Crying is an appropriate, humane response to the painful events being dredged up in these proceedings. You know what’s not? Smirking, chuckling, spitting out clever comebacks. Heard has a professional diagnosis of PTSD because of her experiences in this relationship. Depp, on the other hand, seems completely devoid of emotion, other than being thoroughly amused at the violence in his former marriage. Now that’s scary.
Photo: STEVE HELBER/POOL/AFP (Getty Images)
Amber Heard gains nothing from lying.
Like many women who speak out about harassment or abuse, there’s nothing for Amber Heard to gain by lying about the pain she suffered at the hands of her ex-husband. The most private, humiliating moments of her relationship are being played out on a public stage and she’s now associated with mortifying hashtags like #AmberTurd and #MePoo. She's also had to hire an elite security detail to protect against rabid Johnny Depp fans.
Depp's lawsuit is nothing more than a smear campaign, and unfortunately for Heard, it's working. She will likely never work in Hollywood again.
Though she’s moved on from all the marriage drama and has better things to do (like take care of her young daughter), Depp seems hellbent on revenge. Dragging Heard back into the courtroom time and again is just another way to continue terrorizing her.
Photo: STEVE HELBER/POOL/AFP (Getty Images)
Heard isn't perfect -- and that's OK.
People in abusive relationships do regrettable things. People in abusive relationships react to their abusers, sometimes physically. People in abusive relationships learn how to navigate around, and even manipulate, their abusers. Just because Heard has exhibited some unseemly behavior doesn’t negate all her testimony and evidence that she was abused. The perfect victim does not exist because perfect people do not exist.
Photo: JIM LO SCALZO / POOL/POOL/AFP via Getty Images)
The trial is not for our entertainment.
In a world where the boundaries of reality and entertainment often bleed together, it can be difficult to remember that celebrities are people, too, albeit people we look up to as role models or use as templates for navigating our way in the world. But their struggles do not exist for our entertainment. This trial is not a movie. Would someone kindly inform Depp of that? Thanks.
Photo: EVELYN HOCKSTEIN / POOL / AFP (Getty Images)
If Heard was not famous, this might have ended differently.
Intimate partner violence is often progressive. If Depp and Heard were just regular old John and Jane Doe, this story would likely have ended differently. The biggest threat to a woman’s life is her intimate partner. Women are more likely to be killed by a husband, boyfriend, partner, or ex than by any other person. The most dangerous time for women experiencing intimate partner violence is when they try to leave their abuser. Depp couldn’t actually drown and burn Heard, much less desecrate her corpse, because he is famous. The world would have taken notice. But every day, worldwide, 137 women are killed by their current or former partner or a family member, and few notice, much less care. Heard easily could have been a statistic had she not been famous.
Photo: JIM WATSON/POOL/AFP (Getty Images)