Former Premier League Star Says Players Had “Broom Handles Shoved Up Their Arse” in Initiation Ceremonies

Image Credit: Chris Brunskill / Getty Images

The anonymous former Premier League star known only as ‘The Secret Footballer’ has lifted the lid on the “horrific” initiation ceremonies reportedly common in professional football.

The Secret Footballer, who has published several books and penned columns in various newspapers detailing the time he reportedly spent in the Premier League, made a number of new admissions to The Telegraph, including details of the humiliating tasks that would be set for new players by the veterans of the clubs he played for. Noting that current Premier League initiation ceremonies are limited to the youngster being forced to “sing at the hotel after dinner,” and being ordered to “serve the management team coffee for the length of the trip” during his first away game for his new club, he added: “But a few years ago, it was horrendous. These young players would be completely abused by the alpha males in the squad.”

He continued: “My friend, who played for another club as a youngster, had a broom handle shoved up his arse and was made to run around the pitch twice while singing a song. I forget what it was. It was some kind of play on being a “sweeper”, I believe.

“Looking back, it was totally horrific. And it was common practice, too. Thankfully, it’s disappeared from the game today.”

It is widely believed that Dave Kitson is The Secret Footballer, though this has never been confirmed. (Image Credit: Ross Kinnaird / Getty Images)

The unnamed player also stated that the pre-match routine that bothered him the most was “the hypocritical piss-taking for their own ends of Christianity by a lot of players.” Conceding that he “despises religion,” the Secret Footballer said: “We have so many players who plaster themselves in tattoos that read: “Only God can judge me.” Or a picture of Jesus nailed to a cross on their arm or back.

“It’s ridiculous because these players aren’t, never were and never will be religious. It is quite simply a way of saying: “I can f*** up and do what I want and I don’t have to take any of the criticism that comes my way because it’s not from God.” It’s a cop-out. It’s a free pass. It gets you out of a hole in any argument that you care to take on. “Oh, you think I f***ed up there? Are you God? F*** off, then!”

The Secret Footballer’s identity has remained a mystery ever since he published his first tell-all book in 2013, and there has never been any physical evidence given to support his claims, though fans have pieced together clues that point towards former Stoke striker Dave Kitson as being the man being the pseudonym. This allegation was previously leveled at another of him former clubs, Sheffield United, who released a statement saying that it wasn’t “a Sheffield United issue”.

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