As a rule I don’t pay too much attention to the comings and goings of Victoria Beckham’s life. Outside of the ongoing debate surrounding why she does / does not smile for press photos (the prevailing theories being that either she’s a humorless void of emotion, or that it’s actually more inhuman to spend every red carpet event with your teeth permanently protruding out of your skull for every paparazzi who asks you to strike a pose), there simply isn’t that much that draws me to her as a human being. She makes nice coats, I’ve heard, she was once in the Spice Girls and now she’s married to a mega-rich footballer. That’s your lot.
However, my opinion of Victoria Beckham is slowly starting to evolve, and it’s all thanks to this newly leaked hip-hop album of hers. Come Together, an album Victoria was reportedly working on back in 2003 before it was canned for quite obvious reasons, is the single greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Actually, scratch that; it’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all month. Though the LP was never finished, a collection of 14 demo tracks that were set to appear on it have been leaked online, and it’s doubtful whether we deserve such a bountiful treasure trove of cringe. To start things off, its title track samples the classic Beatles’ song of the same name, then it features a bizarre cameo appearance by M.O.P. before finally – and I’m now making it my mission in life to find out how this happened – the late rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard lends her his vocal talents, too.
According to the Mirror, these featured artists were made available as a result of her friendship with Damon Dash, though it’s likely that everyone involved was very pleased when it was revealed that the album wouldn’t see the light of day. With it having been shelved after Victoria’s self-titled debut album flopped in the charts, all we have are these demo tracks, a window into a world we’ll never experience in which Victoria Beckham was actually allowed to release a fucking hip-hop album.
Listen to the demo tracks below:
