Photo: Carlos Carreno (Getty Images)
When you go out for a morning run, you usually assume it’s going to be fairly uneventful. Maybe you’ll finish a podcast you’re listening to and have to stop to download a new one. Perhaps you’ll run into a friend or coworker and end up chatting with them for a few minutes. You definitely don’t think that you might die by being mauled to death by an agitated big cat. But, that’s exactly what happened to a runner in Utah recently.
And before we move on, we need to set the record straight. This isn’t the story of a man being chased by a sexy middle-aged woman. It’s the story of a man who spent six whole minutes attempting to get away from an actual cougar. You know, the giant, lion-like big cat of our nightmares.
It all started when Kyle Burgess decided to go for a 10-mile run at Slate Canyon in Provo, Utah. His day was completely normal until he happened upon a group of cougar cubs. He began to film them when all of a sudden, their angry mother showed up. And, instead of simply growling to get him to go away, she followed him for six minutes and lunged and growled throughout the ordeal.
Since Burgess was filming the cubs, he kept the camera rolling as he walked away without turning his back on the angry cat. We can only assume the terror he felt while he waited for all of those minutes waiting for her to get tired of the pursuit and leave him alone. It must have felt like hours.
At one point he even uttered the sentence, “Come on, dude. I don’t feel like dying today.” The cougar finally retreated and ran away down the trail after Burgess got the courage to throw a rock at the cat.
We can only assume that he’ll think twice about taking this route again. Maybe stick to running in a suburban neighborhood. Those cougars are much less frightening.
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