Rudy Giuliani has had a tough year. We almost feel bad for the guy, except for the fact that he is kind of a tool of the devil and, as the saying goes, it’s hard to have sympathy for the devil…or his henchmen. Still, forgetting our personal feelings about the former Mayor of New York, we feel for the guy. This is especially true given the recent news that Giuliani has tested positive for COVID-19.
Giuliani has had a hell of a 2020 but, unlike the rest of us, he sort of brought a lot of it on himself. Now, obviously, we don’t relish in the fact that the man got COVID. We don’t want anybody to get sick from this stupid virus. So we sympathize with the man for that. But, sigh…just everything else, man. From pardons to profusely sweating, Borat to general buffoonery, we feel safe to say that everything besides COVID is kind of Giuliani’s own fault. What’s even more depressing about this is how much Giuliani used to be respected. When he was the mayor of NYC, and waged war on organized crime, he was adulated. When he spoke for the rest of the country shortly after September 11, we were all behind him.
So, what happened to the man? How did such a respectable guy turn into a bigger punchline than Donald Trump? Giuliani used to be made of stone. Now, we’re not quite sure what he’s made of. We don’t know if it’s sweat, hair dye, or apathy. It’s probably all three. The thing is, people like Donald Trump or Mitch McConnell are genuinely evil. We don’t necessarily think Rudy Giuliani is evil. He’s just really, really stupid. We didn’t start 2020 thinking we would be writing so many stories about Rudy Giuliani. But that is where we find ourselves. These are our 10 favorite Rudy Giuliani moments, ranked.
Cover Photo: Mandel Ngan
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Rudy Giuliani Ranked
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10. Julia Louis-Dreyfus Spoofs Rudy Giuliani In ‘Veep’ Reunion Announcement
She's already been Veep. Could she be a lawyer now too?
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Photo Credit: Instagram
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9. ‘My Cousin Vinny’ Star and Director Object to Rudy Giuliani’s Re-enactment of Scene at Press Conference Concerning Election Fraud
Our cousin, Rudy.
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Photo Credit: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)/Twentieth Century Fox
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8. Brewery Trolls Rudy Giuliani With Its Four Saisons Landscaping Beer, We Support Canning Rudy For Good
At least there's some good to come out of Rudy Giuliani's fall from grace.
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Photo Credit: Stephen Frink (Getty Images)
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7. Rudy Giuliani Says NBA Coach Doc Rivers Is Misleading Black People About Police, It’s Actually Way Worse Than He Describes
Rudy Giuliani knows more about the hardships faced by black people than black people do. At least, that's what he thinks.
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Photo Credit: Instagram
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6. Rudy Giuliani Disgusted by Yankees Players Taking ‘Disgraceful’ Knee For Black Lives Matter, All This While Creating a Podcast and Going Publicly Insane
Black people shouldn't protest inequality because it makes Rudy Giuliani sad.
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Photo Credit: Elsa (Getty Images)
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5. Rudy Giuliani Calls NYPD After Being Pranked by Sacha Baron Cohen, Can Only Take a Joke if it Becomes President
This story just gets so, so much worse.
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Photo Credit: The Hollywood Reporter, via Getty Images
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4. Rudy Giuliani Is Star of the New ‘Borat’ Movie, This Nut Busted With His Hand in His Pants (Plus Twitter’s Best Reactions)
Getting caught with your hand down your pants is never a good look. Especially when "she's fifteen."
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Photo Credit: Twitter
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3. Video Shows Rudy Giuliani Almost Literally Rubbing Coronavirus on Somebody
We call this 'foreshadowing.'
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Photo Credit: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)
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2. Spoiled Brains of Rudy Giuliani Appear to Melt the More Lies He Tells, Leaving His Ears During Tall-Tale Press Conference
What're the chances that Giuliani is actually Weekend at Bernies-ing it, and he's actually just been made of wax the past ten years?
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Photo Credit: Sarah Silbiger, The Washington Post
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1. Rudy Giuliani Shockingly Tests Positive for COVID, Perfect Little Bow on Top of a Terrible Year
We call this, 'poetic justice.'
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Photo Credit: Rey Del Rio (Getty Images)
