It’s never fun having the ‘rents over to your place. You have to hide all your drug paraphernalia and your porn. You have to vacuum up several bags’ worth of potato chip crumbs from the cushions of your couch. You have to dispose of all those empty liquor bottles. It’s a lot of work.
But sometimes, the item your mom or dad spies during a brief stint in your living space is worse than any of the aforementioned vices. To wit: Reddit user ThrowRA-WIBTA recently went viral for sharing the story of a shameful discovery involving handcuffs. (And, no, she’s not a cop.)
As she explained, “My boyfriend and I enjoy certain things. One of those things lead to me attaching some shackles to the coffee table and I decided to leave them there because it was convenient when I wanted to randomly use them. It’s been maybe a month and, even though we get regular use out of them, their placement was normalized and didn’t seem out of place after the first week or so.”
The problem arose when the mother of the Redditor’s boyfriend texted to ask if the couple could watch her dogs. In the rush to get ready to meet the mom, the Redditor forgot to do a sweep of the living space for any hot-button items. That came back to bite her in the ass…big time.
The mother arrived, sat down on the sofa, and said, “So I don’t want to ask what’s up with the handcuffs on the table but what’s up with the handcuffs on the table?”
The Redditor, caught completely off-guard, said, “Don’t worry about it.”
Cue awkward silence.
Then, for reasons unknown to the Redditor (or to anyone else for that matter), she added: “They aren’t handcuffs. They’re shackles.”
Oof. (“I don’t know why I fuckin’ said that last part,” the Redditor lamented in her post.)
The boyfriend looked at her, silently slow-clapped, and said, “Good job.” While the mother used the bathroom, the Redditor removed the offending item and put it away, out of sight.
You really can’t blame someone for leaving their kinky contraptions out. Hell, it’s quarantine. No one is expecting visitors right now! But if you don’t want to have a mortifying conversation like this one with your partner’s parent, make sure you do a quick inspection of your living space before they come over. You don’t want to give your dear ol’ mom a heart attack after all. As for the mother in the story? We’re sure she’ll never drop by on a moment’s notice ever again.
Cover Photo: Peter Dazeley (Getty Images)
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