Penis Plant

Meanwhile in Netherlands: Rare Penis Plant Blooms For First Time In 25 Years, What Took You So Long Dick

Just like your real pandemic penis, the Amorphophallus decus-silvae aka a rare penis plant rarely comes out to play. By that, we simply mean it almost never blooms. This is why the fact that it unsheathed itself after a 25-year hiatus is monumental. The plant actually blossomed at a botanical garden in the Dutch city of Leiden and experts believe this is only the third time this has occurred in all of Europe.

In fact, this notoriously hard-to-grow plant only thrives very warm, but moderately humid environments like its native home, the jungles of Indonesia and Java. Of course, a volunteer at Hortus Botanicus, the botanic garden where it bloomed, planted the Amorphophallus decus-silvae in 2015. These plants bloom, on average, around every 10 years. This is why it’s truly wild that the Dutch Penis Plant showed signs it was going to bloom in September.

When it did finally bloom, it only lasted for a few days. And thank god for that because this rare penis plant also smells like rotting flesh during the process. We can’t tell if this is an upgrade from smegma or whatever, but we hope so. If you want to learn more about the Amorphophallus decus-silvaeccici, check out this TikTok from @plantwithroos, who works at the botanic garden where it bloomed.

@plantwithroosCheck out this Amorphophallus decus-silvae in bloom for the first time in 24 years, and the 3r time EVER in Europe. It’s a very special, smelly day♬ original sound – Plant with Roos

God bless this penis plant and its inability to last for long. That’s the real joke here.

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