As every good heathen knows, the reason for the season is not Christ’s birthday (no one knows when he was born), but rather superchurch pastor Joel Osteen getting roasted on a TikTok spit. If that sounds about right to you, keep scrolling, and thou shalt be rewarded with the TikTok of the Year.
The miracle began when Osteen (who looks not unlike a child’s drawing of Lucifer) concluded his meal at a California eatery. Nick Stanley, a server at the restaurant had just clocked out for a break between double shifts when he jogged up to Osteen to grab a selfie in the parking lot. It was divine intervention.
@nickandsophSound still has potential…. Got taken down for bullying ##joelosteen ##notbullying ##happyholidays ##fyp ##blowthisup @worldstar @hasandpiker♬ original sound – Nick & Soph
While this video has warmed millions of hearts this holiday season, sadly, Stanley got fired from his job after his encounter with the Lakewood Church pastor went viral. In a follow-up video, Stanley explained why he felt he needed to make the best TikTok of the year. (Hey dude, no explanation necessary!)
@nickandsophWell this escalated quickly…. ##fired ##joelosteen ##heknows ##thanksforurlove ##fyp @H3 Podcast @Complex @The Daily Show♬ original sound – Nick & Soph
Jobless and hated by televangelists everywhere, a second Christmas miracle found its way to Stanley, as TikTokers rallied around the social media hero and started a GoFundMe account in his honor, which he promptly donated to two non-profits.
Meanwhile, a plumber at Osteen’s church discovered $600, 000 in cash inside the church walls (as you do). And after much grousing by the plumber, the church finally broke the dude off $20,000. Wonder what Mr. Osteen will be doing with the rest?
Cover Photo: TikTok
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