airtag
Happy couple holding hands, sitting in the back of a moving truck wearing only boxes.

Booty Call Bozo: Mover Busting Nut Also Busted by Family With Airtag, Totally Worth $29 Apple Investment (Burn That Luggage, Though)

Be honest. What’s the farthest you’ve ever traveled for a booty call? Fifty miles? A hundred? If it’s more than the cross-country mover who lied to his clients about his whereabouts before getting busted by an Airtag, congratulations. You’re the loneliest person on earth.

A close second, however, is the horndog who drove a moving truck 1,670 miles from Colorado to New Jersey to “cuddle” with his long-distance girlfriend (while on the clock). The only hitch in his perfect plan to get laid while getting paid was the family waiting on the east coast for all their furniture to arrive. They hadn’t signed up for their earthly possessions to be left outside a Motel 6 while a clandestine sexcapade took place within.

As you might expect, after a few days of waiting the family called to ask where their shit was. And naturally, the mover told them he was still in Colorado and wouldn’t reach the Garden State for four days. Unfortunately for him, the family had planted an Apple Airtag in one of their moving boxes and could see the truck was just around the corner in upstate New Jersey.

Busted in a lie, the driver shit his pants (probably) and hung up. But eventually, he called back and promised to deliver the truck in three days after he caught up with his “lady.” (Awww, how romantic.) Displeased with that response, the family explained they were tracking his exact whereabouts, prompting him to (presumably) wait four hours for his erection to go down and deliver their stuff the next morning.

Yikes.

The crazy thing is the quarter-sized tracker Apple designed to help you find your keys didn’t even exist a year ago. But now, at only $99 a 4-pack, we’re all going to be caught in a lie real f*cking soon. At least we’ll know where our keys are.

Cover Photo: Renphoto (Getty Images)
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