In a perfect world, you’d have a ready, willing, warm-blooded partner to have sex with whenever the mood struck you. Unfortunately, the reality is that finding safe, satisfying sex is harder than morning wood. That’s why sex toys were invented: to get us through the dry spells and keep us from getting so horny we resort to humping the furniture.
But some sex toys are…well…a little weird. We don’t want to “yuck” on anyone’s “yum” but there are some really fucking strange proclivities out there when it comes to what turns people on. From themed dildos to blowjob machines to butt plugs even Jesus would approve of, the internet offers sex-starved people a lot of ways to facilitate an orgasm.
On the one hand, this is reassuring. No matter what you’re into, someone has made a sex toy out of it. On the other hand, boy, some people are into some really weird shit.
For those who like to gawk at perversity — or for those who are secretly freaky — we’ve rounded up 10 outrageous sex toys and ranked them from “Yeah, I could see using that” to “OMFG what is wrong with people?!”
Enjoy — but please, don’t so at work.
Cover Photo: Amazon
weird sex toys
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10. The Obama Dildo
Gives new meaning to the phrase, "Thanks, Obama!"
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9. The Dragon Dong
Pairs well with Game of Thrones porn.
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8. Area 51 Blow-Up Doll
The truth is out there. As is your next orgasm.
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7. Baby Jesus Butt Plug
WWJBDF: What Would Jesus Be Down For?
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6. The Dildo Maker
Turn the forgotten contents of your vegetable drawer into an edible sex toy!
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5. I Rub My Duckie Massager
Bath time just got oh so dirty.
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4. The Autoblow
10 blowjob experiences brought to you by Artificial Intelligence!
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3. Mr. Jack With Mustache
Because there's never a dude with creepy facial hair around when you need him.
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2. The Tongue Lick Dildo
Finger-lickin' good.
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1. The Fuckable Foot
For foot fetishists too lazy to grab a fleshlight.
