Society collectively went apeshit on Monday as security footage of Solange Knowles Chris Browning Jay Z in an elevator hit on TMZ. Since then, we’ve all been trying to figure out what the hell actually happened, but we all failed to realize that Jay Z is a rapper and that all rapper drama only has once source: Rihanna. It also didn’t help that Solange was reportedly drunk off her ass and has really dumb friends.
“Two of her friends, who were not dressed for the Met Ball, showed up at The Standard and caused a scene downstairs,” the source said. “They wouldn’t leave and kept name dropping Jay Z. They were pretending they were guests of his and not hers. Management went to Julius (Beyonce’s bodyguard) and said there’s a problem.” Our source said Jay Z soon got wind of it and snapped at Solange, saying “don’t use my name.” The 27-year-old singer turned sullen and said she wanted to leave the party.
THEN KEEPIN IT REAL WENT WRONG
On the way out, Jay Z said he’d be heading to Up & Down on W. 14th Street, where Rihanna was holding her own post-Met Ball bash, a second source said. Jay’s camp had called ahead of time to say he would be coming alone and “didn’t need extra security” because Beyonce wouldn’t be attending, the source said. Apparently, that didn’t sit well with Solange. “She seemed drunk and irritated,” said a second source. “She said, ‘Why can’t you go home?’ and to Beyonce ‘Why does your husband need to go to the club right now?'” An incensed Jay Z didn’t back down. “You’re one to talk,” he replied, the source said. Jay’s response set Solange into a rage. Once inside the elevator, she started punching and kicking her brother-in-law — an attack that was caught on surveillance video and leaked to TMZ.com on Monday.
We read “post-MET Ball bash” and “W. 14th Street” and forget that Solange’s DNA sequence reads “hoodrat from Houston”. That doesn’t really change when you put on a fancy dress. Ever heard Beyonce in an interview? Even Randy Moss thinks she’s a hick. I can see why Solange would want to stick up for her sister, but there’s a time and a place for that kinda shit, and Beyonce is a grown woman. If she had an issue with it, she would have said something. And in Jay Z’s defense, I’d probably want to go to Rihanna’s afterparty by myself too, because well. This story has a happy ending I guess, as Jay Z and Solange were seen jewelry shopping yesterday, because that’s how you calm a lunatic with a vagina. Shiny things. And if he bought her a diamond tennis bracelet that produces its own wine, well, Solange would text Nas and say she can’t hang out anymore.
