Robert Pattinson Refused Give A Dog A Handjob For A Movie

Robert Pattinson is still trying to distance himself from the Twilight movies (hint: he never will), so he has to take roles in movies that are batshit or where he plays a mentally challenged dude or woman or whatever. His new movie Good Time is batshit and pretty damn good, but told Jimmy Kimmel there’s a scene that’s missing because she refused to give a dog a handjob on camera.

“Oh God, I don’t know if I can say this,” Pattinson began. “There’s a lot of things in this movie which really cross the line of reality. It’s not even on the line, it’s way beyond the line. There was initially this scene — I don’t think I should say this — but it’s like, my character, Connie, has this affinity with dogs. He thinks he is a dog in a previous life and he thinks he has control over animals and stuff.”… “There’s this one scene, which we shot, which basically, there’s a drug dealer who busts into the room and I was sleeping with the dog and basically giving the dog a h–d job,” Pattinson revealed. Though Pattinson also said it was “a character thing,” he approached the trainer in preparation for the take. “I asked the trainer, ’cause the director was like, ‘Just do it for real, man! Don’t be a p—y!’ And then the dog’s owner was like, ‘Well, he’s a breeder, I mean, you can.’ He’s like, ‘You gotta massage the inside of his thighs.’”

The easiest joke here would be OH YEAH I BET YOU GAVE KRISTEN STEWART A HANDJOB ONCE LOL, but Kristen Stewart doesn’t have a penis even if she wants to have one, and she’s not a dog. I actually fine her quite attractive. Maybe that’s the joke for this post. Or maybe not?