Photo: Justin Sullivan (Getty)
Chances are, you watched porn before you ever had sex. In fact, I’d go as far as to say you watched tons of porn before you ever had sex. But this kind of thing is totally understandable, and has become something of an unofficial rite of passage for curious young men. There are its obvious benefits, of course: Porn is down for lovemaking whenever you are; porn doesn’t care how experienced or well-endowed you happen to be; and porn will commit to whatever sexual act you’re into, as long as you type the right keywords.
The problem with this porn consumption is that we used porn as an educational tool when it isn’t — it’s entertainment; it’s fantasy. As such, we were led to believe some things about sex that simply aren’t true. Here are 10 of the most prevalent:
1. That Our Dicks Are Small
Photo: Columbia Pictures
Studies upon studies have been committed to determine the average size of a man’s penis. The results vary, but ultimately measure between five to seven inches. Porn stars, it would seem, measure between eight and 12, with the girth of a large soda from the movie theatre. Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys!
2. That All Dicks Are Circumcised
Just like the majority of women are completely shaved downstairs, uncircumcised penises are the less popular on-screen wiener because these turtlenecked soldiers have been deemed less pretty than the other, which can harm a young man’s confidence. If porn reflected real life, one in three male porn stars would have a circumcised penis, as it’s estimated that two-thirds of the world is actually uncircumcised.
3. That Women Have Like, 10 Orgasms During Sex
Sometimes women don’t orgasm during sex. Sometimes even men don’t! Research shows that 70 percent of women have faked an orgasm during sex. And that’s not all, 30 percent of men have admitted they’ve faked an orgasm as well. How in the hell do men do it? Who knows!
4. That Anal Sex Requires No Preparation
In porn, edit cuts make it look like all it takes for a woman to have anal sex is to steer the man inside her. If you’ve ever had anal sex, you will find that it takes a lot more preparation than you’d been led to believe. It also glazes over the fact that you can’t really penetrate it with the vigor you used for her vagina.
5. That Dudes Don’t Have Body Hair
“Why in the hell does my ass crack have hair?” Because every man’s does! Guys have body hair, this is fact. But just like women, the trend in porn shows that both men and women have no body hair whatsoever, and essentially become bronzed mannequins with larger-than-life genitals.
6. That Squirting Is Real
As somebody who’s interviewed many people in the adult industry, I can confidently say that squirting is mostly fabricated. Women do indeed get wet (some very much so) but they don’t shoot their ejaculate across the room like an industrial sprinkler.
7. That Women Scream Like Banshees
Screenshot: YouTube
If a woman actually made the sounds actresses do in adult film, you’d think something had gone horribly wrong during your encounter, like your penis had turned into a scythe and you’ve completely gutted her.
8. That The More Difficult The Position, The Better The Sex Is
Porn stars are very physically fit. And they have to be when we watch those scenes where they’re performing Cirque Du Soleil-like acts while having deep, penetrative intercourse. Take shower sex, for instance. How in the hell is that crap supposed to feel good?
9. That Condoms Don’t Mean Sh*t
Photo: Universal Pictures
Though the laws about this have just recently begun to change, porn shows children that condoms aren’t necessary, and that watching your school nurse awkwardly place a condom on a banana in sex ed was unnecessary.
10. That A Guy Can Shoot Wherever He Wants
Watching a money shot (the climax of the porn film, if you will) showed us that wherever we want to shoot our ejaculate is fair game. Cream pie? You got it. On her back? Why not. But as every man discovers during his actual sex-having years, a woman isn’t always so willing to gamble with your climax, and that the cleanup of your climax is usually your responsibility.
