Bidet
No ifs, ands, or butts about it.

7 Tips For Using Your First Bidet on That Sensitive Tooshie

Photo: TeoLazarev (Getty Images)

Say goodbye to toilet paper and say hello to the Tushy bidet, the latest in the evolving bathroom hygiene trend that is taking American butts by storm. While bidets date back to 18th century France — and have since caught on all around the world — this straight-to-the-point derriere cleanser never made a splash in America…until now.

Perhaps it was the import of fancy Japanese toilets or the patent of great ass-man, John Kellog’s, “anal douche” that turned the tide for bidets. Either way, we are embracing the trend with both ass cheeks. Why? Not only does it reduce overall water consumption and cut down on toilet paper pollution, but it also leaves your rump cleaner than a Tuesday night AA meeting. Because no one gets shit on their hand, wipes it off with a napkin, and goes “Yep, all clean.”

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It’s high time we made the bidet a household name. We know old habits die hard, so here are seven tips to consider when using your first tushtoiler.

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