TUSHY knows what people want. The purveyors of low-cost bidets and sustainable toilet paper have been dedicated to buttholes since 2015. Now they’re showing their love for the other end of the GI tract with a collection of lip colors to make your first date pop.
A year of pandemic life has created a pressure cooker situation where everyone is ready to burst. Especially horny people. That’s why Lizzo is predicting this will be an ass-crack summer with everyone from the girl next door to your brother-in-law sporting the butt-cutout dress. Thankfully, Bidet is riding that wave with a lipstick color specially designed to match your puckers.
Say hello to SkidLIP. With colors ranging from “Bleacht” to “BabaDONK”, you’ll have no trouble approximating your deepest shade. The TUSHY website even comes with instructions on how to match your b-hole to get the perfect tint of taint. Which – no matter what religion you subscribe to or political party box you tick – is pretty damn impressive. Check it out:
Sweet (cheeks). Who says your inner sphincter can’t get fancy? After a year cooped up inside, everyone deserves a little fresh air. Bottom’s up!
Cover Photo: Plume Creative (Getty Images)
Sex Dolls: Anything You Can Do, They Can Do Better
Sex life: Michelle Obama Guide to Discussing Life Between the Sheets
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 3.29.21
-
Awesome Mom Uses Deepfake Nudes to Frame Daughter’s Cheerleading Rivals, That’s the Spirit
-
Reddit Tale of Woman Who Accidentally Left Handcuffs Out When Boyfriend’s Mom Visited Goes Viral
-
Wedding Limo Catches Fire on Way to Ceremony, Bride Starting to Think Universe Is Trying to Communicate With Her (Or Is God a Jealous F-Boi?)
-
Meanwhile in San Francisco: Woman Who Coughs on Uber Driver Earns Jerk of the Year Award, Turns Herself In To Receive It (Video)
-
Meanwhile in the Bathtub: Woman Finds Herself in Giant Bowl of Hot Chocolate After Bath Bomb Fail
-
RANKED! The Dumbest Conspiracy Theories on Social Media (Including TikTokers Burning Snowballs to Prove Winter Is Fake News)
-
Covid Vaccine Site Asks People Why They Got the Shot (And Their Answers Are Hilarious)
-
Laser-Beam Prototype Aimed at Mosquitoes Awaits Expected Backfire From Marjorie Taylor Green
-
Twin Babies Freak Out at Dad’s Clean-Shaven Face in Viral Video, One More Reason We’re Never Shaving Again (Or Having Kids)
-
Meanwhile in England: Weasel Riding Woodpecker’s Back Feels a Bit American, Only a Matter of Time Before Marvel Gets Involved
-
Runaway Ronald: Statue of McDonald’s Mascot Clown Stolen, And Yes They Actually Want it Back
-
Meanwhile in Georgia: Armed Bystander Thwarts Chick-Fil-A Robber, People Really Are Struggling Out There