Due to coronavirus home confinement, the rules of drinking alcohol have been completely thrown out. Obviously, during a usual work week, it’s not socially responsible to start your day with a Kahlua-spike coffee, imbibe four pints of beer with lunch, and down three glasses of wine during happy hour. Boozing, for most of us, is confined to the weekend. Fridays and Saturdays are the days to have a few drinks and unwind. But, since we’re stuck at home, it’s as tough to remember what day it is as it is to recall whether or not we showered, much less assess whether you’ve become an alcoholic. So your whole world doesn’t spiral into three-hour afternoon naps and an alco, we figured the time was right to set forth a few new quarantine rules around drinking. Check them all out below.
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While we like to joke about enjoying a few alcoholic drinks while you’re quarantined at home, we also want to make sure everyone drinks responsibly. If you need help with substance abuse, please contact an organization like SAMHSA.
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New Alcoholic Rules
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You shouldn’t have more than three drinks before lunch.
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If you’re going to drink alone, at least turn on the TV.
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Don’t call or text your ex after you’ve enjoyed a few alcoholic beverages.
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If you’re going to drink, at least look out the window and pretend you’re not sitting in your dusty basement.
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Don’t drink before a work meeting or before starting your workday.
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Don’t hide your bottles in random places around your house.
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Don’t drink so much that you raise your tolerance to a ridiculous level.
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Don’t mix your booze with random mixers that make no sense.