‘Healthy Coke’ Trend Taking Over TikTok (We’d Rather Switch to Pepsi, Thanks) We'd rather drink a Pepsi (and that's not saying much).
Limited Edition Coca-Cola Starlight Is ‘Space Flavored,’ Bullshit Exists in Space Too Before you get all judgy about the authenticity of Coca-Cola's latest elixir, you should know that it says "space flavored"…
Meanwhile in New York: Fake Cops Arrest Coke Dealer, Run Into Real Cops in Lobby (Whoopsidaisy) Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?
Meanwhile in Maine: Couple Arrested After Cops Discovered Cocaine Disguised as Cake (Is There Another Way?) If you’re as much of a sugar addict as we here at Mandatory are, you know the delightful high you…
Meanwhile in Florida: Million-Dollar Bundle of Cocaine Washes Up At Space Force, Making Us Curious What Their Training Program Is Really Like After all, what kind of person straps themself to a 70-ton rocket, lights it on fire, and launches bodily into…
FBI Discovers Pineapples Full of Cocaine, Who Says Produce Can’t Be Fun? It involves a port in Spain, a fake encryption app, and 1,600 kilos of Ecuadorian cocaine stuffed inside delicious piñas.
President Biden Removes Trump’s Diet Coke Button at Oval Office Desk, Replaces It With Metamucil Alarm When President Joe Biden officially took over the Oval Office, things looked a little different than they did when Donald…
Super Bust: Major Brands Back Out From Advertising During Super Bowl, Viewers Living For The Weeknd Halftime Show There are only two reasons to tune into the Super Bowl. One is the ads. The other is the halftime…
Three-Legged Bear Caught on Camera Stealing Diet Coke From Garage, Can’t Taste the Feeling While dissecting all of the strange elements of this story, we have one simple question. How did the bear walk…