The American public has mixed opinions on the job Barack Obama has done as president, but the reasons most people disapprove aren’t the ones that really matter. They’re missing obvious shortcomings that are right there in front of their faces but are somehow being ignored. These are the issues that truly matter. Here are 10 things most people don’t even realize happened while Obama was in charge of our country.
1. Many of us grew up admiring the wrestling stars of the ’80s and ’90s, but apparently Obummer does not share that sentiment. On his watch we lost Macho Man Randy Savage, The Ultimate Warrior, AND Rowdy Roddy Piper. How can a man say he has our best interests in mind when he allows our wrestling heroes to die?
2. During George W. Bush’s presidency the world was blessed with not one, not two, but three Shrek movies. Do you know how many we got with Obama in office? ZERO. Sure there were spin-offs, but America is a country of purists. We want our right to bear arms and we want our Shrek movies. For some reason Obama doesn’t agree and he’s made that abundantly clear.
3. During Obama’s campaign for a second term, Mitt Romney said America couldn’t handle four more years of him. We ignored his warning. Then, less than a month after his reelection, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up. We were all devastated. It’s hard to believe that another candidate wouldn’t have done whatever it took to keep them together instead of worrying about his NCAA bracket or passing legislation. It’s a shame he couldn’t keep his priorities in line.
4. Hurricanes. *mic drop*
5. You know how many reality shows about pawn shops existed before BOREack Obama took office? None, I think. Now they’re everywhere and my dad won’t stop watching them. Obama allowed our televisions to be flooded with awful shows about pawn shops with subtle, horny titles. This was probably more of Joe Biden’s idea, but still. Obama was the one who chose him.
6. Everyone talks about how Bush allowed September 11th to happen on his watch, but guess what? Go look at your calendar. Every year since Obama has been in office there’s been a September 11. It took place after September 10 every single year and yet he’s done nothing about it. Why are you so afraid to update the calendar and get rid of this awful day, Obungle?!
7. It’s kind of odd that we used to all communicate using words, but now that Osama bin Bama is in office we only text emojis and GIFs. Hmm, why would someone want to be able to talk without using words? Oh right, because they don’t speak American and want to talk in their terrorist language. Got it. That’s not even subtle, Obunghole.
8. Why isn’t Evanescence a popular band anymore, Obama? Do you hate “Bring Me to Life”? “Going Under”? Their other hit songs that I can’t recall offhand? Clearly the only reason they’ve fallen from the spotlight is because they didn’t fit into Obama’s liberal agenda and had to be dealt with swiftly and viciously.
9. When I was 19 I bought this hoodie that I absolutely loved. It was red with white strings and fit perfectly. It was ideal for any season and everyone always commented how great the color looked on me. Three weeks after Obama was elected into office guess what happened? I lost it. I left it sitting on a park bench and when I returned seven hours later it was gone. Is this what Obama wants? To tear away the things we love? That’s not my America.
10. Before Obama took office I was constantly carded. It didn’t matter if it was an R-rated movie or a drink; I was carded for everything. Here we are, at the end of Obama’s second term, and now I rarely get carded. Why is safety such a lack of concern for him? Why is he telling these people to stop asking for my age and identification? Is he trying to smuggle his terrorist friends into the country? I don’t know for certain, but probably.
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