Texas Man Who Humped Vegetables And Children’s Clothing Will Spend The Rest Of His Life In Jail

Photo: lolostock (Getty)

It’s pretty tough to come up with a good reason for why you would be shirtless in your car with a syringe in your hand, melted wax on your chest, children’s clothing, Barbie dolls, duct tape, rope, Viagra and a cooler filled with frozen cucumbers, and apparently Charles Robert Ransier didn’t have a good one either when San Antonio police found him in March 2015.

According to the Miami Herald, that syringe was loaded with methamphetamine, and along with the resisting arrest charge that accompanied the drug possession, it marked the 10th time Ransier had been slapped with a felony dating back to 1988. And to be honest, after perusing through a list of his other felonies, getting busted with meth and then resisting arrest seems rather tame for the 56-year-old.

Texas Man Who Humped Vegetables And Children’s Clothing Will Spend The Rest Of His Life In Jail

“This is the third time Ransier has been caught and suspect of deviant acts with a vegetable. In 2014, police were called to a local baseball field, where Ransier was clothed in only women’s stockings, engaging in a sex act with a vegetable, the Statesman reports. In 2012, Raniser was found naked and admitted to engaging in a sex act with a squash.”

It took a jury less than 30 minutes to sentence Ransier to life behind bars. No word if any of them went home and had a side of squash with their dinner.

You’re only supposed to put air in that, dude: Ohio Man Arrested for Having Sex With Pool Float … Again

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