Mississippi State gained their first No.1 ranking in school history this week after trouncing Auburn at home. After this huge jump in success following years — hell, decades — of lethargy surrounding Starkville, it got me thinking, which FBS (Division-1A for us older folk) schools have sucked the most, overall, spanning the history of college football? Which fans have had to endure decades of heartache, more than anyone else?
I first crossed teams off the list that have won a national championship. (Sorry, fellow Illinois fans. I know we suck hardcore but we do have some titles pre-WWII thanks to the Galloping Ghost!) Even if it’s been decades since the last MAJOR victory, just one national title means you haven’t had to endure what the following fans have gone through.
My next step was a ton of research, scouring the pages of each team’s media guide to find which teams have suffered the worse in the following categories:
Best Season Record
All-Time Winning Percentage
Bowl Record
Conference Championships
Consensus All-Americans
Last Winning Season
Last Bowl Win
More weight was given to the teams that have the fewest bowl wins and the length of time since, along with the time since their last winning season.
Keep in mind we live in an era when half the teams in college football are selected for a bowl. You simply win half your games and you’re in.
I also considered less weight for the schools who haven’t always been D-1 or a conference to play in.
Here are my findings, complete with an overall ‘Suck Score’ that is out of 100 possible points. If you’re a fan of one of these teams, may God have mercy on your soul.
Josh Helmuth is the editor of CraveOnline Sports.
Photo Credit: Getty
Most Starved Fan Bases College Football
20 Cincinnati
Established: 1885
All-Time: .530
Best Season: 12-1 (2009)
Conference Championships: 12
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 8-7
Consensus All-Americans: 3
Last Winning Season: 2013
Last Bowl Win: 2013
Suck Score: 33
Cincinnati barely cracks the top 20 because they only have 15 bowl trips in nearly 130 years of play and have barely won more than half their games.
19 Air Force
Established: 1955
All-Time: .547
Best Season: 12-1 (1985, 1998)
Conference Championships: 2
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 10-12-1
Consensus All-Americans: 5
Last Winning Season: 2011
Last Bowl Win: 2010
Suck Score: 44
Air Force barely cracks the list. They've had some good teams, but a .547 record all-time still bites.
18 Middle Tennessee State
Established: 1911
All-Time: .580
Best Season: 10-0 (1957, 1965)
Conference Championships: 13
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 2-4
Consensus All-Americans: 2
Last Winning Season: 2013
Last Bowl Win: 2009
Suck Score: 48
Not an atrocious all-time record, but only two bowl wins (with just 6 trips) in their history hurts.
17 Mississippi State
Established: 1895
All-Time: .488
Best Season: 10-2 (1999)
Conference Championships: 1
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 10-7
Consensus All-Americans: 2
Last Winning Season: 2013
Last Bowl Win: 2013
Suck Score: 52
Sure, MSU is coming off a winning season in which they won a bowl game, but don't be too misguided, the Bulldogs have sucked for far too long. They've never had a season of just one loss, have only one conference championship and are currently ranked No. 1 for the first time in their history. Their previous highest rank before 2014? No. 9 -- that was in 1940. Bring on the cowbell!
16 Tulane
Established: 1893
All-Time: .455
Best Season: 12-0 (1998)
Conference Championships: 9
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 4-8
Consensus All-Americans: 5
Last Winning Season: 2013
Last Bowl Win: 2002
Suck Score: 58
They have been a regional powerhouse about once every decade or so on average, but this Louisiana school hasn't won a bowl game in 12 years and have only four bowl wins to their name.
15 Ball State
Established: 1924
All-Time: .529
Best Season: 9-0 (1965)
Conference Championships: 8
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 0-7-1
Consensus All-Americans: 1
Last Winning Season: 2013
Last Bowl Win: Never
Suck Score: 69
At least they've won half their games all-time. Still, they've never, ever, won a bowl game.
14 Washington State
Established: 1894
All-Time: .491
Best Season: 9-1 (1930)
Conference Championships: 4
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 6-5
Consensus All-Americans: 4
Last Winning Season: 2003
Last Bowl Win: 2003
Suck Score: 71
They've been in the Pac-12 since the dawn of time and have still only managed four conference titles and six bowl wins. you know it's bad when your last great season was a loss to Alabama in the Rose bowl pre-WWII and your last winning season came when Blink-182 was the biggest rock band in the country (says the guy who is currently listening to "What's My Age Again?")
13 UNLV
Established: 1968
All-Time: .446
Best Season: 12-1 (1974)
Conference Championships: 2
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 8-7
Consensus All-Americans: 1
Last Winning Season: 2013
Last Bowl Win: 2000
Suck Score: 71
It's been 14 years since their last bowl win.
12 Temple
Established: 1894
All-Time: .437
Best Season: 10-2 (1979)
Conference Championships: 1
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 2-2
Consensus All-Americans: 1
Last Winning Season: 2011
Last Bowl Win: 2011
Suck Score: 72
Bill Cosby U. has never gained traction in football. In 120 years the school has never had a one-loss season and have only gained two bowl wins and one notable All-American.
11 New Mexico
Established: 1892
All-Time: .458
Best Season: 10-1 (1982)
Conference Championships: 4
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 3-7-1
Consensus All-Americans: 3
Last Winning Season: 2007
Last Bowl Win: 2007
Suck Score: 74
Only three bowl wins in history and their last was seven years ago, the same as their last winning season.
10 Iowa State
Established: 1892
All-Time: .456
Best Season: 9-1 (1906)
Conference Championships: 2
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 4-8
Consensus All-Americans: 2
Last Winning Season: 2009
Last Bowl Win: 2004
Suck Score: 76
Only four bowl wins and their last was 10 years ago.
09 Western Michigan
Established: 1906
All-Time: .549
Best Season: 8-0 (1941)
Conference Championships: 4
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 0-5
Consensus All-Americans: 1
Last Winning Season: 2011
Last Bowl Win: Never
Suck Score: 76
How bad has Western Michigan been? We couldn't even find a picture of the team on Getty Images... Seriously, this team has never won a bowl game in just five trips and their best season came before Pearl Harbor.
08 New Mexico State
Established: 1894
All-Time: .404
Best Season: 11-0 (1960)
Conference Championships: 1
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 2-1
Consensus All-Americans: 0
Last Winning Season: 2013
Last Bowl Win: 1960
Suck Score: 78
One conference title in 120 years and they haven't won a bowl game in 54.
07 Memphis
Established: 1912
All-Time: .491
Best Season: 5-1 (1969)
Conference Championships: 4
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 3-3
Consensus All-Americans: 1
Last Winning Season: 2007
Last Bowl Win: 2005
Suck Score: 79
No winning season in seven years and only three bowl wins in history.
06 Wake Forest
Established: 1888
All-Time: .410
Best Season: 11-3 (2006)
Conference Championships: 2
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 6-4
Consensus All-Americans: 1
Last Winning Season: 2008
Last Bowl Win: 2008
Suck Score: 81
The Demon Deacons have been around since the Reconstruction Era, yet have still only gained two conference titles and only six bowl wins. They haven't had a winning season in six years, the time of this snapshot.
05 Akron
Established: 1891
All-Time: .491
Best Season: 9-1 (1929, 1969)
Conference Championships: 1
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 2-4
Consensus All-Americans: 1
Last Winning Season: 2005
Last Bowl Win: 1976
Suck Score: 81
Only one conference title and two bowl wins in over one hundred years and they haven't managed to win a bowl game nearly 40.
04 Indiana
Established: 1887
All-Time: .424
Best Season: 9-0 (1945)
Conference Championships: 2
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 3-6
Consensus All-Americans: 6
Last Winning Season: 2007
Last Bowl Win: 1991
Suck Score: 84
A Big Ten school that's been nothing but big suck, the Hoosiers prove their love for basketball even more by abandoning their football department, only winning three bowl games in 127 years and nothing better than a .500 season in seven.
03 Eastern Michigan
Established: 1891
All-Time: .444
Best Season: 10-2 (1987)
Conference Championships: 10
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 8-7
Consensus All-Americans: 0
Last Winning Season: 1995
Last Bowl Win: 1987
Suck Score: 86
Sure, they've won some conferences, but still haven't won half their games in the process. Oh, and they haven't had a winning season in nearly 20 years? Ouch.
02 UTEP
Established: 1914
All-Time: .411
Best Season: 10-3 (1988)
Conference Championships: 2
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 5-8
Consensus All-Americans: 2
Last Winning Season: 2005
Last Bowl Win: 1967
Suck Score: 87
In one hundred years they've managed to win two conference titles and their best season consisted of three losses? Their last bowl win was nearly 40 years ago.
01 Kent State
Established: 1920
All-Time: .377
Best Season: 11-3 (2012)
Conference Championships: 2
National Championships: 0
Bowl Record: 0-3
Consensus All-Americans: 0
Last Winning Season: 2012
Last Bowl Win: Never
Suck Score: 90
This Ohio school is the epitome of what it's like to forever suck. They've barely won one-third of their games, have had zero consensus All-Americans and have never won a bowl game. In reference to the picture, maybe they need to pray harder?