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Here at Crave Online, we get all sorts of fan mail ranging from formal declarations of love and money donations to hateful rants, death threats and severed heads of our favorite horses. However, every once in a while, (when the moon is in the seventh house and stuff) we do get a couple of serious questions from fans who really want us to research something and come up with an answer. One of our readers (we don’t want to be sexist but it’s probably a female reader) asked us – why do men lie? That’s all. There wasn’t even a “hello,” or “how are you?” It was straight to the point, somewhat demanding and hurtful. Well, either way, it’s our job to help you out, so we’ve decided to share our understanding of the problem, from a male perspective. So, let’s begin.
White Lies
First up is the concept of white lies. These are usually small, harmless non-truths that everyone uses on a daily basis. For the purpose of this awesome article, we will agree that men have a tendency to use them more (though it’s not proven). So, why do men say these white lies? It’s mainly because they don’t want to offend or in any way upset their female partners. Most of these lies are automatic and follow unpleasant, unnecessary questions like “does this dress make me look fat?” Any other answer besides “(hell) no!” would start an avalanche of subquestions, accusations, sad looks and, above all, inability to peacefully continue watching the rest of the game. For that reason alone, men use white lies whenever they’re asked these mundane questions that, let’s be honest, seem to aim to provoke.
Premeditated Lies
Of course, life is full of situations where you need to act ahead of your instinct and use lies to improve your life. These premeditated lies are used heavily in professional environments like when you need to notify your boss that you’ve had food poisoning and can’t come to work, cleverly disguising the fact that you’ve drunk your weight the night before and can barely see the phone. When it comes to male-female relations, premeditated lies are used to dodge some common relationship bullets. These lies come up when discussing ex-girlfriends, commenting other girls’ looks, and planning a visit to her parents. In all of these situations, men lie to keep everything together. In a way, premeditated lies are just consciously complex white lies. You can quote us on that.
Fun Lies
OK, we need to talk about the dark side as well. Up to this point, we’ve presented lies as something that is necessary, beneficial and generally desirable in a man’s world. However, there is also a far less popular explanation to why men lie that we wanted you to know. Sometimes men lie simply because it’s fun to delude someone. These are lies like the one we’ve mentioned at the very start of this article that people write fan mail to us. The truth is they don’t. We open our mailbox every day and carefully inspect its content, but all we see are a couple of dead bugs and a frighteningly cold emptiness. So, unless we have a couple of bug-collecting enthusiastic readers, we really don’t get any mail. In that sense, lies can be used to delude both ourselves and someone else. Fun, eh?
Evil Lies
The concept of evil is far too complex to examine properly in this little article, but we do know what evil lies are. Again, seeing as our (hypothetical) reader who asked us the question is female, we’ll focus again on the male-female relations. Men lie when they have an affair because their regular relationship has become boring, uneventful or the passion simply died out. Some men intentionally lead their partners on even though, as B. B. King says, the thrill is gone. Some men lie to get laid. However, truth be told, these are all temporary conditions that disintegrate eventually, so you needn’t worry, our non-existent female reader. Time exposes everything.
Hopefully, we’ve helped you gain some insight into a man’s mind. Use this power for good and, when someone else asks you the same old “why do men lie?” just refer them to this amazing little article.
