On Sept. 29, Donald Trump and Joe Biden will go head-to-head in their first presidential debate. For his part, Trump has said he prepares every day for the debate by “just doing what I am doing,” which can only mean being a loose cannon.
Biden is less cocky. “I know how to handle bullies,” he said at a recent fundraiser. “I hope I don’t get baited into getting into a brawl with this guy. It’s going to be hard because I predict he’s going to be shouting.”
We doubt there will be a fist-fight (though that would certainly motivate more Americans to tune in), but since we know both of these politicians pretty well, we won’t be surprised when Trump acts like a non-sensical, overbearing asshole while Biden tries to woo voters with logic and reason — and ends up putting them to sleep instead.
What else can we expect as these two senile senior citizens take one another on? We have 12 hilarious predictions.
Cover Photos: Ethan Miller / Staff and Win McNamee / Staff (Getty Images)
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Debate Predictions
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Trump will make this face every 30 seconds.
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Biden will laugh at completely inappropriate moments.
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Trump will constantly interrupt Biden...with nothing of substance to say.
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Biden will use a term like 'malarkey' or a figure of speech that's older than your great-grandparents.
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Trump will call Biden 'Sleepy Joe' at least once.
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Biden will tell a long, winding story that has no relation to the topic at hand whatsoever.
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Trump will kiss America's ass and sing its praises as if everything has been hunky-dory under his watch.
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Biden will have trouble remembering his own name, but will drop Obama's into the debate at least 100 times.
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Trump will criticize every plan that comes out of Biden's mouth but won't offer any feasible alternatives.
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Biden will wet his adult diapers when Trump inevitably insults him.
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Trump will tell at least 100 whoppers.
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Biden and Trump will each say something creepy that'll make female viewers shudder.
