olympics

Meanwhile in Olympics: Beijing Mascots Revealed, Not Exactly Vision of Fitness Yet Very Fitting

The Beijing Olympics are officially underway, featuring impressive athletic feats that most of us could only dream of pulling off. But the newly revealed mascots for the 2022 Winter Games aren’t exactly the picture of fitness. We’ll start with the panda bear named Bing Dwen Dwen.

“‘Bing’ means ice and also symbolises purity and strength, and ‘Dwen Dwen’ represents children,” the International Olympic Organization said in a statement. “The mascot embodies the strength and willpower of athletes and will help to promote the Olympic spirit.”

OK…but you have seen this bear, right? He looks like he’s been eating too much bamboo and sitting on his ass. He definitely has an unhealthy BMI and doesn’t even look old enough to participate in the Olympics, not even gymnastics.

“Bing Dwen Dwen is encased in a full-body ‘shell’ made of ice, and the heart shape in its left palm represents the host country’s hospitality,” the statement continued. “The bright colours of the halo around its face represent ice and snow sport tracks, signifying connectivity and advanced technologies. The newly launched Olympic mascot resembles an astronaut, embracing new technologies for a future with infinite possibilities.”

Hmm…so it’s a panda, it’s a mascot, it’s an…astronaut? Now we’re really confused. Space exploration isn’t even a sport, much less one featured at the Olympics.

But wait! It gets worse! The Paralympic mascot for the Winter Games is a “lantern child” named Shuey Rhon Rhon. “The name signifies warmth, friendship, courage and perseverance,” the IOC said.

Oh-kay…If we were in control of the Winter Games PR, we’d definitely be sending that little bear (adorable though he may be) and his lantern friend back to the drawing board.

Cover Photo: Xinyu Cui (Getty Images)

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