C’mon, man. Everybody knows the first rule of measuring your dick is that you only do it when your blood lumber is at 100 percent.
According to The Smoking Gun, Iowa City police arrested a 42-year-old pervert last week in connection with a May 7 incident inside the men’s room at library on the University of Iowa in which he allegedly used a cardboard ruler at a urinal to measure his “semi-erect penis.”
Police said Thomas Morgan “partially turned his body towards the victim/witness who was using a urinal in the bathroom,” measured his yogurt slinger with a cardboard ruler that may or may not have been homemade and then even made a comment about the size of his giggle stick to the victim.
Morgan admitted to measuring his hog when he was questioned by police, but he added that he did so while he was limp, and the only thing he was guilty of was “being curious.” Police disagreed and booked him on a misdemeanor indecent exposure charge, which means if it was just a misdemeanor, then it probably couldn’t have been that big.
