Header Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP (Getty) / Nicken Drumsticks (Twitter)
Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets collected for your viewing pleasure. Give them a read, and remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. They’re not just putting their hilarious thoughts out there for their health, after all. Plus, if you’re just going to wind up repeating these jokes to your friends later and passing them off as your own, the least you can do is throw a little admiration their way. It’s only fair.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
Funny Tweets 1-13-17
Don’t even try telling me there’s nothing going on between Mama Berenstain Bear and the family dentist. pic.twitter.com/Oz0qtbn9I8
— Elliott Kalan (@ElliottKalan) January 7, 2017
I THINK THE FUCK NOT. LMFAO. CANCELED. pic.twitter.com/CMo1VVKOJ5
— puertorican princess (@araslanian_) January 7, 2017
me: my mom’s in the hospital
neil degrasse tyson: your mom is not astronomically sigificant
— goth milf (@themiltron) January 2, 2017
I love ig lmfaoooooooooo this is wild pic.twitter.com/YYYft3dglh
— shelbs (@palemami) January 9, 2017
an actual fashion icon. he had to do it to us again pic.twitter.com/XtgvvSELjC
— (@toxicyuri) January 6, 2017
my dog looks like a door greeter for abercrombie & fitch pic.twitter.com/l3YnCfX0L2
— erica (@hairicaaa) November 28, 2015
when you show up to brunch and someone starts asking ‘do you even remember last night when you…’ pic.twitter.com/aY6bmw2HjZ
— Will deFries (@WilldeFries) January 9, 2017
Take a hint mate pic.twitter.com/3tGtz3f4Pm
— tash (@nat4sha_) January 7, 2017
My biggest accomplishment as a parent is that my 3 y.o. daughter knows how to hit the ‘Skip Ad’ button after 5 seconds in YouTube videos.
— Nicken Drumsticks (@beefman138) January 2, 2017
— pony starwars (@tigersgoroooar) December 9, 2016
DON’T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY SON pic.twitter.com/FVufoXLRe0
— Brian Doyle (@WritePlay) January 7, 2017
Marilyn Manson turned 48 on Friday. His birthday was actually on Saturday but he had a day removed so he could celebrate earlier.
— stefan heck (@boring_as_heck) January 9, 2017
My sister proposed to her GF today and look at that older woman’s reaction pic.twitter.com/ifFl3mJNAr
— Carlos Shook (@AreYouShook) December 18, 2016
He might be the chef though please stop assuming https://t.co/8GTmD20jUo
— Adi Iskandar (@Slivendrous) January 5, 2017
Had a scary encounter with an intruder in my home tonight. Everyone please stay indoors & safe. pic.twitter.com/VzCeVwQ5qd
— brynna (@heyitsbrynanana) January 9, 2017
she was looking quite foreboding with ancient jewels exploding in the shape of a sword on her thorax / well the years start coming and they
— The Mountain Goats (@mountain_goats) January 9, 2017
I see this shirt at the party I know felons in the building and it might get real pic.twitter.com/N7kZpnD91n
— (@CulinaryTrappin) January 7, 2017
Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware?
Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware?
M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) January 4, 2017
being violent and drunk in Japan sounds amazing pic.twitter.com/mfTETfjQwj
— Thomas Gorton (@AngstromHoot) January 6, 2017
me: I love kale
Tomi Lahren: pic.twitter.com/bIOe8jD617
— Madison Lawrence (@madisonlawrence) January 9, 2017
