Two Idiots Tried To Steal A Utility Pole In Florida

September 14, 2017

Photo: epantha (Getty)

I’d like to believe that there is a special place in hell for people who decide to loot electronics stores and steal other people’s shit after a devastating hurricane rolls through town. I mean, one thing you don’t need to have in your possession when your streets are buried under nine feet of water is a brand new 84-inch TV.

According to UPI, these two dipshits in Jacksonville also didn’t feel the need to rush into a Best Buy and steal their electronics, but they apparently had big plans for a…wait for it…massive utility pole that had fallen during the storm.

We’re dead serious:

These two were caught stealing a JEA pole just this morning! Citizens watching out and officers cleaning up = partnership! #Irma #JSO pic.twitter.com/q6VKOvPKuU

— Jax Sheriff’s Office (@JSOPIO) September 13, 2017

The goal now of course is to find a judge who believes them.

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Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.